A correction on my final day, what are the f-ing odds? This sucks, but now that my reign is over, I’ve gotta ask: How the hell did I not get fired or cause a protest? I mean, I was pretty damn offensive, including Monday’s attempt at inciting a riot. Oh well. The opinion editors let me take over their page to say bye, so head over to page 4 for my final column. Please don’t cry.

Thursday’s Final Forecast Ever: In life you just have to accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue. I’ve been the pigeon for a whole year, and I can only hope that you’ve enjoyed it as much as I have.