It’s Nexus turnover time – and not the good kind with apples. Every spring, you see all the beaten-down editors head for graduation – or more likely rehab – and a new batch of wannabe famous reporters take over. It’s depressing how young they are. The guys are all without beer guts and the girls all have makeup on. It’s really weird. But there’s no turnover in this box my friends. I’ve served you with pride, and I’ll continue doing so until they take my keyboard away. Fear not, I’m going to keep making snarky, offensive comments under a cloak of anonymity as long as I can.

Friday’s Forecast: The ‘human begins working towards it’s goal of getting fired for crossing the line. All ethnic groups and sexual affiliations: You are officially on notice.