A Weekend to Forget: Part 1
Thurs., May 8, 8:56 p.m. – Residents of multiple homes on the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive called on the Isla Vista Foot Patrol to help dispose of an unwanted male who had allegedly attempted to enter a number of dwellings.

When the deputy arrived on the 6600 block, a bystander pointed him toward the drunk who had since traveled down the street a short ways.

By the time the officer reached the 34-year old man in question, he had already gotten into some trouble of his own. The deputy watched as six or seven males pushed the man toward the street, yelling at him to leave.

Having been knocked to the ground, the man screamed back at his heavy-handed escorts, calling them “pusses.” Despite numerous cuts on his back from the fall, the man continued to threaten those around him and seemed as if he would fight everyone in the vicinity.

Then, oddly enough, the man started to scream about her majesty, the “Queen of England.” Hoping to avoid an international debacle, the officer arrested the man and opted to transfer him directly to the Santa Barbara County Jail.

While en route, however, the man lost whatever composure he had left and hit his head against the squad car’s Plexiglas divider until his forehead split open and started to bleed.

A short detour to the hospital and four staples later, the man was booked into the Santa Barbara County Jail where he stayed, pending sobriety.

A Weekend to Forget: Part 2
Sat., May 10, 3:00 p.m. – Officers spending a day at the beach – patrolling of course – spotted a man staggering about the warm sand.

The deputies walked toward the 34-year old male, who they recognized from an earlier arrest Thursday night. While not quite to the point of screaming Her Royal Highness’ name, he was nonetheless quite intoxicated.

As the officers approached, the man took a quick swig of his beer and then immediately proceeded to vomit.

When the deputies finally entered his field of vision, the man – apparently unaware of his proximity to the now chunky water – stumbled backwards and fell into the surf.

An officer assisted the man to his feet, and quickly noticed that it was not just seawater and vomit staining the drunkard’s pants. The deputy asked the man why he was on the beach, but he was past the point of conversation.

Finally, the man simply gave up on trying to balance, and fell to his knees. The officers took their cue, and for the second time in less than 48 hours, the man was arrested and transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.

So You Think You Can Dance?
Sat., May 10, 1:04 a.m. – Officers on uniformed patrol were dispatched to the 6500 block of Del Playa Drive to investigate reports of a street fight.

While en route, the deputies were flagged down by a passerby who told them of a man who had been threatening people in the street. The description given matched that of the dispatch, and the officers continued on.

Moments later, the deputies spotted their suspect walking toward them. The officers stopped the man and began to question him.

The 26-year-old’s speech was heavily slurred and his eyes were bloodshot. When asked how much alcohol he had consumed, the pugnacious male told the officers he had drank just one or two beers throughout the night.

Any chance of convincing the deputies of this lie, however, was thrown out the window moments later when, out of the blue, the man began to dance to his own beat.

In the middle of being asked simple questions about his identity, the man raised his right hand to shoulder-level and began to wave a finger back and forth. Seconds later, he lifted his other hand and started to wag both fingers in unison. The fighter-turned-street performer then topped off his routine by mumbling a catchy tune as his fingers danced in the night air.

The deputy, torn between tipping the man and arresting him, settled on the latter. The man was later transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed, pending sobriety.