Raise your hand if you were surprised that racecar driver Danica Patrick hospitalized a pit-crew member after running into him during practice last week. Man, I really hope you didn’t put your hand up. That’s really, really embarrassing. Everyone’s probably looking at you and wondering why you’re taking cues from a piece of newspaper. Anyway, the accident doesn’t surprise me in the least. Female drivers, eh?

Tuesday’s Forecast: “OK, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.”

“Aw man, am I a woman?”