I don’t quite know what to make of this San Diego State drug ring story. On the one hand, 75 students face drug charges. But on the other hand, 75 students face drug charges!!! Definitely helps their reputation as a party school. Here I am, hearing rumors about cutbacks on Halloween and looming issues with beach drinking, and these crazy bastards are ramping things up about 5,000 notches. They’re making a serious run at our California party school title. Also, I’m a little sad for the ladies of SDSU, who will undoubtedly gain a shitload of weight now that their cocaine hookups have been shut down. Without the yay, state school girls are just… fatter state school girls.

Thursday’s Forecast: Luckily they’re still half as smart and thus twice as likely to fellate you.