Has anyone else noticed that the sandwich makers at Subway always look really depressed? I mean the people at Mr. Pickles are always having a good time – too good a time if you ask me – and that one dude at Sam’s is always nice, but those Subway employees really, really look like they hate their jobs. I guess I can’t really blame them. Making sandwiches for your peers can’t be the proudest way to spend your day. When you really think about it, the five dollar footlong deal has to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to those poor bastards, which is ironic because it’s just about the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

Thursday’s Forecast: “Five, five dollar, five dollar footlong.” Goddamn that song is catchy. Good luck getting that shit out of your head…