Thursday, 9:23 a.m. – Fuuuuck. If the throbbing head and dry mouth is any indication, it feels like I probably went to OTT last night. Singing karaoke to “Benny and the Jets” must not have been a bad dream after all. There’s no way I’m making it to English 15 at 9:30. Maybe if I can turn my head over on the pillow, I can reach the glass of water I really hope I left on the nightstand…

9:24 a.m. – Is that a Jessica Alba poster? Right next to a Lakers pennant? This is clearly not my room. OK… Take a deep breath. Let’s try to black in any parts of last night that may provide clues as to why my thong is lying on the floor on top of a pair of Scooby Doo boxers. If I roll over, I can catch a glimpse of whoever this stranger is. God, I hope it’s a stranger and not my ex-boyfriend. Here goes nothing. Wow… my ex certainly didn’t have pecs like those. And the one butt cheek I can see from this angle is damn fine. I’ll just pause for a second to give my blacked-out alter ego a pat on the back for a job well done. She must have been on her A-game last night.

9:25 a.m. – Plan of action: If I tiptoe, I can make it out of here and get to class on time without my conquest catching a glimpse of my morning face. If only that floorboard didn’t creak… “Hey, sweetheart, where you heading?” Shit. Think. Tell him you have to wash your hair or something. “I had a good time with you, baby girl. I’ll call you when I get downtown tonight.” I suppose I should be grossed out I apparently slept with this guy, and all I know about him is he’s a Lakers fan with a penchant for terms of endearment. But instead, I hope he does call – if only for the pure adrenaline rush of being wanted.

8:46 p.m. – Definitely shouldn’t have eaten Freebirds for dinner on a night I’m hoping to get laid. Good thing those baggy tops are trendy.

9:19 p.m. – Hmmm… I’ll put on some Rihanna in an attempt to get all the girls into the kitchen. If I’m gonna meet up with the mystery man at Q’s, we’ve got to speed up our shot-taking. Wouldn’t want to miss my chance to tap that nice ass again and actually remember it…

9:29 p.m. – “Cheers!” Finally.

9:58 p.m. – Maybe I should take one last shot before we get on Bill’s Bus. Yeah, I’ll probably regret it if I don’t. OK, one more after that, too… you never know how long the line at the bar will be, right?

10:44 p.m. – I’m just going to look at my phone one more time to make sure it’s on vibrate. He probably tried to call, but I just didn’t hear the phone. Nope. Well, I’ll just get the girls to leave Q’s and head over to Sandbar. If we hit enough bars, I’m sure to “run into” him.

10:56 p.m. – This time, I’m positive I feel the vibration. And he even made the eleven o’clock cutoff! This one is quality. “Hey, babe, let’s meet up. I’m with four guys. Your friends are cute, right? Promise? On a scale of one to 10…” I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s just so… hot.

11:30 p.m. – “I know you’ve been waiting at Sandbar, honey, but meet us as Indochine. I know the bartender.”

11:46 p.m. – Is that the same person I woke up next to this morning? He’s wearing a blazer, and kissing me on both cheeks in greeting. It’s a mutant strand of the typical downtown douchebag! I have to get out of here.

11:48 p.m. – Well, maybe I’ll stay for one drink. If he’s buying.

Friday, 1:51 a.m. – I knew I shouldn’t have had that one drink that turned into four drinks. And I know I shouldn’t be in this cab with him right now. But since I already added him to my grand total of sex partners, I may as well sleep over and reap the benefits.

9:02 a.m. – I hope we used a condom…