One Thing Leads to Another
Sat., April 12, 12:12 a.m. – A man strolling the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive attracted the attention of the Isla Vista Foot Patrol when he was spotted carrying everyone’s favorite police beacon – the infamous red cup.

Upon further investigation, the deputies discovered the man was also carrying a one-liter bottle of Coca Cola half filled with a clear liquid. Surprise: It wasn’t water.

When asked about his age, the man stated he was 22. The officer, who must have had his wits about him, did not believe him and asked to see his I.D. Double-whammy: The man was 20 and the I.D. was fake.

As he produced the fake I.D., the man unfortunately forgot about a small blue bag hidden in the card slot of his wallet. The deputy then inquired as to its contents. Hint: It rhymes with Rogaine.

Thus, serving as a lesson of what not to do. Spoiler Alert: Carrying vodka, a fake I.D. and cocaine – the man was arrested and transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, perhaps pending the acquisition of some common sense.

It’s Too Late to Apologize
Fri., April 11, 11:15 p.m. – Officers patrolling the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive watched as one man struggled to drag another down the street.

The man was being hoisted up by his shoulders and his feet were bouncing ever so slightly atop the asphalt as the two slowly made their way down the street.

Unfortunately for these two, the IVFP does not encourage hitchhiking, especially when the act involves dragging your companion like a Raggedy Andy Doll as he shouts every profanity imaginable.

The officers stopped the pair of revelers and told the tartly tongued man to park it on the curb.

The IVFP then asked the man what he had had to drink, which he responded to by saying he had drank “shots” and other “drinks” and that he was “feeling completely wasted.”

At this point, the subject’s attitude made a U-turn and the 18-year-old man started apologizing for his behavior as well as his level of intoxication.

Unfortunately, sometimes sorry just doesn’t cut it, and he was arrested and transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Chivalry and Isla Vista
Fri., Feb. 22, 10:40 p.m. – Following the break up of a large party on the 6700 block of Sueño Road, deputies overheard the conversation between a male and the heavily intoxicated female he was escorting.

“If you want to take me and get me drunk with those guys, that’s OK,” the 18-year-old woman said.

Fearing for the well being of this young woman, the deputies stopped the two and asked to speak with the woman privately. Adhering to their wishes, the gentleman let go of the woman, causing her to stumble off the curb and fall into a parked car.

Once she had regained her composure, the officers asked if she knew where she was. She told them she was in I.V. but did not know where.

When asked about where she lived, the woman told the deputies that she could not remember but that she knew it was not in I.V.

Not wanting to leave the woman homeless, officers arrested her and transported the woman to Santa Barbara County Jail where she was housed, pending sobriety.