UCSB: U Can Study Buzzed. We’ve all heard the joke acronym referencing our innate abilities to party hard while obtaining a great education. How exactly can one “study buzzed?” Is it even effective? Once again, I’ve used myself as the guinea pig and put the drinking to the test.

If you plan on going out and partying on a specific night, what better way to pre-game than to do a little homework while you drink? There have been two drinking games I play involving studying, but I’m sure you can come up with more on your own. The first is great for writing papers.

To play the essay-writing drinking game, take the number of pages the essay must be and divide that number by how many drinks it takes to get you feeling pretty buzzed. This number should be about how much you drink at the end of each page you finish. For example, if you have a six-page paper to work on and six beers usually gets you feeling pretty good, drink a beer after each page you finish. A few hours later you will be done with your paper and ready to go party. You even have a reason to celebrate now. This game, like all drinking games, works best when you play it with friends. Make sure you find at least one other person with an essay to write because I never encourage drinking alone. Only alcoholics do that. Also, it’s a good idea to proofread your essay before you actually turn it in. I remember submitting a three-page rough draft freshman year that I didn’t even remember writing. Trust me, you don’t want to find yourself in a situation in which you have to explain to your professor why your paper is extremely repetitive, doesn’t make sense and the thesis is about nachos instead of the Cold War.

The other study-drinking game I play requires sitting down with a few classmates before a night of partying. Everyone spends about half an hour casually drinking and making flashcards for an upcoming exam. Then take turns quizzing each other. Every time someone gets the answer incorrect, they have to take a drink. As the game progresses, funny mnemonics and explanations are created that will actually make you more likely to remember the correct answer. One of my favorite mnemonics for the electrical engineering class I had to take last quarter was: Hairy Rhinos Suck Titties. If any of you need to remember how a T flip-flop works, now you know: Hold, Reset, Set, Toggle.

So now you know a few ways to incorporate drinking and studying – but is it a good idea to combine these supposed enemies? I remember learning in psychology your memory recall will work more efficiently if you are in a similar environment and state of mind. Basically, sit in the same seat everyday in class and make sure you sit in the same seat when you take a test, and you will be able to remember things better. Now as far as studying buzzed, this basically means if you do drink and study, you should probably drink a bit before you take the test to help you recall what you studied. Even though this sort of test-taking study practice uniformity holds true, be careful not to overdo it. If you study super drunk and take a test hammered, you will probably not do well. What I am suggesting is moderate drinking while studying and test taking. There have actually been studies showing a moderate amount of daily drinking can improve memory, and may help prevention of memory loss and diseases like Alzheimer’s.

Floatopia and typical first-week shenanigans have been great so far. Now that you know how to study and drink effectively, I expect the rest of this spring quarter to be just as fun!