A McDonald’s in Hacienda Heights is taking things to new heights — yuk yuk — with a redesigned interior, set up according to the principles of feng shui. The McDonald’s is now designed to promote the customer’s health, happiness and prosperity. The five elements – earth, water, metal, fire and wood – are present around the room to make the chi – energy – flow better. The designers of the McDonald’s say the interior was created to help customers achieve “happiness and fortune.”

Don’t give me this “energy” and “happiness and fortune” crap. I kind of feel like McDonald’s is tricking me into eating there, and if I go to the feng shui McDonald’s, the chi will make me never want to leave. I’ll feel some sort of unconscious need to eat Big Macs all the time and think that I won’t be able to reach peace without French fries in my belly.

Mark Brownstein, an owner of the restaurant, said that they chose the feng shui theme to appeal to the growing Asian population but also to help all customers find their “inner Zen.”

So maybe that’s why I’ve never been able to find my inner Zen. I keep trying to eat healthy and reconnect with nature first. Thanks, McDonald’s, for helping me understand that inner peace is best served with a side of fries.