With the major holidays behind our backs, there’s only one thing to think about now: next season’s holiday shopping! Alright, so maybe what you’re going to get for Mom next Christmas isn’t on your mind yet, but Mattel is already hopping on the Christmas 2008 toy train.

Ten months before Saint Nick arrives, the company has unveiled what will be the root of many mad and deranged shopping sprees: Elmo Live. Remember the original

Tickle-Me-Elmo that came out when you were just a wee one? Well, Elmo Live pwns the original. Elmo Live still laughs, but he does so much more, too. He tells jokes, he does jazz hands, he stands up, he sits down, he dances…actually, he’s probably better at life than most people who go to state schools.

Kidding about that last part. Elmo Live probably can’t pass a class because he can’t really read. But as I recently found out, being literate is not required for getting a college degree or becoming a teacher.

I digress. Back to gushing about a toy meant for eight-year-old children. When I first saw the story about Elmo Live, I thought it couldn’t have been that impressive; after all, it’s still just a toy. But then I saw Elmo Live, and I doubted Elmo Live no more.

I feel a bit silly asking Mom and Dad for an Elmo Live this Christmas, but I really want that thing. Plus, when I get through with him, my friends and I can just light him on fire. I love when things are doubly useful.