So over the holiday break, my dad got my mom one of those VHS-to-DVD recorders. We were watching old home videos of me riding my tricycle, picking on my little sister and running around the house naked after every bath I had to take. Watching these videos made me smile – mainly because I still do the same things – until a new home video was put in. As soon as the ghetto VHS started playing, the television screen displayed a decorated party. It was in a small house, much like the ones in Isla Vista, and featured a handful of young adults, much like us. Everyone at this party was drinking alcohol, laughing and passing around joints. I was intrigued by the familiarity of the movie. I looked over at my parents, and they were looking at each other with guilty, reddened faces. I looked back at the home video to see what looked like my dad with an afro and a mustache, and my mom stumbling around drunk.

After talking to my parents about the video, they admitted that it was their Valentine’s Day party they had every year. It was a huge hit among their circle of friends, and they have thrown the party nearly every Valentine’s Day for about 25 years.

The party looked like a lot of fun, so I began making a mental list of all the cool activities in hopes to one day have my own awesome Valentine’s Day party. Unfortunately, I will be playing in our club volleyball team’s first home game, so I will not be hosting a party this year. However, I suggest you rally up an equal number of guys and girls, they don’t have to be couples, and throw a sweet party on the day of love.

The decorations for the party are cheap and simple, but can add a lot to the overall mood. Kmart or any local grocery store will have giant hearts, red and white streamers and cupid posters. Make sure to spend the extra few bucks on corny decorations – your guests will appreciate it.

The scandalous activities are what make a Valentine’s Day party unique. One activity I saw my parents playing involved blindfolds, broomsticks, and toilet paper rolls. Each guy lines up in front of a girl. They put a blindfold on and a broomstick between their legs, while the girls put a toilet paper roll between their legs. You cannot use your hands. When everyone is ready, the host yells, “Go!” and the women must shout directions to the men about where to move in order to get the broomstick in the toilet paper roll. The first couple to succeed wins a prize, or you could make the losers take a shot.

Another great activity I saw also involved a blindfold. Each guy takes a turn wearing the blindfold. The ladies sit on chairs or on a coffee table facing outwards. The blindfolded male must make his way around the circle feeling each female’s knees until he thinks he has found his partner. After each guy takes a turn, the men and women switch roles and do the same thing. In the video when it was my dad’s turn, one of his hairy friends traded out the girl in the third seat. My dad felt around the first two pairs of knees, and when he got to the hairy pair, he yelled, “What the fuck!?!?”

As far as alcohol and food is concerned, wine and champagne can be paired with delicious snacks such as salami, cheese, crackers and olives. Get lots of chocolate, even chocolate-covered strawberries, so you have some aphrodisiacs.

I hope you all have a fun Valentine’s Day. If you have a special someone, go have a few drinks, relish in each other’s presence and make sweet love. If you don’t have a special someone, go have a few drinks, be glad you’re not wasting a shitload of money and make sweet love with whomever you can find.

Happy Valentine’s Day to my wonderful girlfriend, Shayne Brophy!