Editor, Daily Nexus,

Monday’s article, (“Smoking Turkey Causes House Fire,” Daily Nexus, Nov. 26) confirmed a long-held suspicion of mine: Meat consumption leads to spontaneous fires. Did you know meat-inclusive diets are also the number one cause of college dropouts, acne and blindness? It’s true. Want your eyebrows and teeth to fall out? Keep it up. Over 95 percent of prison inmates are meat eaters. Think that’s a coincidence? Think again. Fact: Starting a meat-free diet will increase your IQ, improve your tan and attract butterflies to you as you walk to class. Ever had a squirrel wink at you? Happens to me like 10 times a day.

OK, I may have stretched the truth on some points here, but reducing your meat consumption actually can improve your health and reduce your contribution to global warming. If you’re interested in learning more, check out peta2.com, meat.org, or the local campus group Vegan Interest, Vegan Outreach. In addition, HBO is currently featuring an unbiased documentary on People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, called “I am an Animal.” Love them or hate them, this documentary will give you an uncensored look into the motivations and policies of PETA. It examines the pros and cons of PETA’s methods and includes the viewpoints of other animal rights groups that question PETA’s effectiveness. I highly recommend seeing it, and so does Chuck Norris… probably.