You look her in the eye. She smiles. You lean in to kiss her, and she – wait – fuck, she’s gone. What the hell just happened? Then it hits you. Her girlfriend just pulled the classic swoop and pull. Her evil bitch of a friend just took away the girl you worked on all night. And you didn’t even get her number.

Been down this road before? Don’t fret. While guys are supposed to be wingmen and help their friends score, girls do the exact opposite and then some. They swoop in and pull the girl from your grasp, giving no reason why other than the standard “We gotta go,” or the less common – but equally obnoxious – wave of the hand. Before you can fully realize what just happened, she’s gone. The girl you were hitting it off with is no more, because her girlfriend couldn’t cope with her own lack of a male suitor. Not on this night. Not on her watch.

Now take note: These pestering demons of the night are easy to spot. More often than not, they dance by themselves in the corner or stand alone text messaging, waiting for the opportune time to strike. When it finally does happen, it’s quick and painful. She deflects her self-doubt and angst toward you, not caring at all if the girl you’ve been talking with actually likes you. That’s not important. This vixen of despair, unable to have fun on her own, unwilling to let loose, is not going to let her insecurities sink her ship alone. She’s taking you and her friend with her. The sheer audacity of her actions is shameful. And yet, she shows no remorse. For it is she, the wing woman from hell, who is there to save her friend from the sinister man lurking over his prey. At least, that’s how I imagine she sees him. Whatever the case, she effectively ruined his night and demeaned herself in the process, all for the chance to stymie her sad and lonely life.