Seeing as we’ve already bitten into a good chunk of Fall Quarter, I’m sure we’ve all had enough time to make our fair share of mistakes. God forbid! Not in Isla Vista!

I, myself, have already indecently exposed myself to the greater portion of my fraternity as well as the few lucky women who were there to savor the experience. Upon entering my fraternity earlier that night, I immediately noticed a plastic baby pool filled with brew and ice – it’s where we nurture and fatten up the little fledgling Natty Lights until they can grow into mature kegs. I vaguely recall turning to one of my brohams and mentioning I had a strange feeling in my bones: I am going to pass out in that darn tub, much like a drunken sailor would foresee the coming of a great storm.

Well, one thing led to another and although the rest is best left to the imagination, let’s just say I definitely did a little skinny-dippage that night. I’ll give you a hint: It wasn’t in the ocean. Assuming you haven’t already moved on from this article due to a combination of disgust, apathy and/or a latent desire to finish the crossword in the back, please bear with me; there is a point. Ashamedly, I have shared with you my weekend not to deter you from ever drinking from baby pools full of liquor. Rather, I want to assert that any mistake you’ve made so far falls well above my shockingly low standard of behavior.

Through my experiences, I have discovered that the concept of a reality check and its consequent purpose are grossly distorted. While intuitively one might believe that this “check” more greatly resembles a brawny hockey player bulldozing you off your feet, I’m going to have to put my foot down and say differently. I myself prefer to think that this idea of a reality check is akin to the checks that we college students depend on – the ones we call home to beg for every week.

Assuming you’ve touched currency before, you’ll understand that the intent of a check is to allow you to withdraw valuable cash from your account. Liquidate your funds, so to speak. Analogously, when reality decides to rough you up a bit, don’t get down on yourself, but make the most of it. Cash in on that experience, and you’ll find that there is no greater currency than wisdom. Honestly though, I’m not the brightest crayon in the box. Yet I learn from experiences that I am able to capitalize on great opportunities, such as writing for our beloved readership at the Nexus.

Another axiom that Grandpa may have explained whilst dandling you is “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Well, I’ve heard a wide variety of responses to this advice: If life throws you lemons, throw them back at life, or, if life throws you lemons, head over to S.O.S. and pick up a twelve case of Hefeweizen and enjoy. I must admit, the original of the three is the best way to go (though the latter never hurts after a long day’s work).

Speaking from experience, Grandpa must have been a saint, because life sure as hell didn’t hand me lemons. It squeezed them in my eye and then kicked me in the nuts. Life may harbor resentment towards you at times, but who knows: Perhaps the burning in your eyes may lead to better vision once the impurities are gone. From bad experiences come growth, and gaining a little perspective and clarity is a great way to ground yourself amidst the overwhelming nature of I.V. My hope is that regardless of the error of your ways, you learn to take a sad song and make it better, Jude, because, as the wise Beatles once said, just let it out to let it in.