Well, the verdict is in and the judgment has been made: Isla Vista residents are not the biggest part of the problem during the Halloween bash that’s been going on for as long as anybody can remember. Yeah, it’s those silly out-of-town guests that are out to ruin the party before it even starts. Anything new there? Let’s look at the sheer statistical truth here: Out-of-towners accounted for almost 80 percent of all arrests made last year during Halloween in Isla Vista. High chances are if you’re not a resident of I.V., you more than likely don’t care about this place. All it amounts to is a place to get stupid and show anyone you think is concerned how much of a bad-ass you think you are.

If that was your case, then I hope you spent Friday or Saturday night scantily clad and chilly sitting on the cold, hard concrete with zip ties around your wrists while they processed you at the impromptu booking station under the cold night air. It’s what you get for being a malaka – that’s Greek for jerkoff. The faster they got you out of the picture, the faster the fun can begin for those of us out to have fun. Stupid is as stupid does, and stupid usually comes in the form of out-of-town visitors. A quick disclaimer here: I’m not saying that all out-of-town visitors are the source of problems during our party, but it seems that the majority of problems can be traced to visiting perpetrators. However, they’re not the only ones to blame for whatever goes wrong during our party. The idiots who invite them here are just as guilty as sin.

The fact is that our local law enforcement used all means necessary to keep the trouble at bay, but the enemy has resources in the form of I.V. residents. I have to admit my amusement in watching all those visitors discovering that parking in this town is a near impossibility during Halloween. I saw the same jacked-up truck circle my block five times before finally giving up and going elsewhere. Even funnier was seeing the mass exodus of out-of-town parkers walking like zombies along the Los Carneros bike path on Sunday morning to where their parked vehicles would be waiting for them. Funny thing is, I heard a lot of those cars were towed away.

A preemptive plan has to be put in place, and here’s a suggestion for the authorities next time around: Interrogate the out of town out-of-town suspects caught causing problems, find out who their host for the weekend is and have the host arrested for aiding and abetting in the committing of a terrorist act. You can even use the same interrogation techniques used on terrorists at Club Gitmo to get the 411 on who their hosts are.

All said and done though, it wasn’t a bad Halloween. I have to give props to my neighbors and all those I.V. residents that kept their parties for locals only and for regulating when it was necessary. I also have to give props to the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department and all other city/county agencies involved for treating even the most idiotic arrestees with respect and dignity. Whether it was deserved or not is debatable, but it shows they’re out to do the right thing. It came out to almost 290 arrests. Who’s willing to bet that the majority of those busted were from someplace else? The smart money is on the visitors.

Henry Sarria is a longtime Isla Vista resident.