Just when we thought it was time for sunshine, skipping classes and beer pong-filled afternoons, Mother Nature decides to rain on our parade, Beirut table and most importantly, ball games. Clearly payback’s a bitch and this is punishment for taking those two months of 70-degree weather at the beginning of winter quarter for granted.

As if the perpetual wet strip down my back and six-inch-deep puddles weren’t enough, now the rain is ruining this very sports page. Sure, there’s a nice puddle that I like to call “Lake Second Base” at Caesar Uyesaka Stadium and I think I saw a covered wagon trying to forge across the field at Campus Diamond, but rainouts for the Gauchos equal shitty Nexus columns for that one dedicated reader. Which reminds me; thanks for reading, Dad.

Even on the road, the Gauchos can’t seem to catch a break. The baseball team traveled all the way to Hawaii only to find rain. Although, I doubt anyone was complaining about a day off in Oahu.

Likewise, it seems as though it’s not in the cards for Gaucho softball to play its doubleheader with Loyola Marymount. So far this season, the teams are 0-2 with two rainouts. Worse yet, the Gauchos’ chance to prove themselves in a double feature at then #1 UCLA was also foiled by Mother Nature. She must have been a Bruin back in the day.

Better yet, the rain is even affecting the indoor sports. Don’t plan on heading to Rob Gym for tonight’s men’s volleyball matchup, unless you want to watch the roof leak. That’s right, the beloved and charmingly-ghetto Rob Gym could slowly be filling with water even as you read this. Hopefully, the move to the T-Dome won’t hurt the Gauchos’ game. And somehow it doesn’t even end with the Gauchos.

Yet another wet weather-induced travesty: rainouts during opening week of the Major League Baseball season. Last night’s rainout in San Diego only leaves more room on the sports page for Barry-hating and less time for me to spend with Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper on MLB.com’s Gameday Audio. That little PPD located where the score should be in the Giants-Padres box leaves me with nothing to listen to – except the sound of the two leaks dripping in my office – while figuring out what the hell to do with my baseball-less page.

Had enough yet? How about us poor suckers who signed up for an outdoor physical activities class this quarter? If the coordinated intercollegiate athletes aren’t allowed to step foot on the fields, there’s no chance for me, or the other accidents-waiting-to-happen decked out in gray shirts and blue shorts. We all know that a person can drown in just one inch of water and I’m pretty sure the Loch Ness Monster vacations in the depths of Lake Second Base.

So here we are: sober, cold, wet, quickly developing rickets, and worst of all, virtually sport-less. What’s a fan to do? Pray for sun, perform reverse rain dances and drink – heavily. Or at least that sounds better than the other alternative: Going to class.

Daily Nexus Sports Editor Kelly Hayes is just hoping the rain ends by next weekend, so she can watch the Giants kick some blue-bleeding Dodger ass.