Chiefed and Left for Dead
Friday, March 17, 1:31 a.m. – Officers patrolling the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive were approached by two women who said they were on their way to a house to check on a friend who had passed out.

The women said the men living at the residence told them they would throw the drunk woman out on the street if they did not pick her up.

The women asked the officers to wait for them to return from checking on the 18-year-old woman and they would report back on her condition.

Five minutes later, the women walked back with their extremely intoxicated friend in tow. The subject, who had a drawing of a vagina and the words, “Lick Here!” inscribed in permanent marker on her elbow, was swaying back and forth.

As one of the officers approached the subject, she turned around and would not look at him.

Before the deputy could question the woman she said, “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

The officer asked the subject how much she had had to drink. In response, the woman vigorously shook her head and said, “I’m fine.”

The officer asked the woman how old she was, and she replied, “6-6.” The deputy asked her for her last name and where she lived multiple times, but she repeated “Molly” to every question.

The woman’s companions told the officers that she was an alcoholic, and that they did not want to take care of her. Because her so-called “friends” were unwilling to care for the inebriated subject, she was arrested for public intoxication.

The woman was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, were she was booked, pending sobriety.

She’s Got Friends in Slow Places
Friday, March 17, 11:13 p.m. – Deputies walking along the 6500 block of Sabado Tarde Road noticed a 20-year-old woman staggering eastbound in the street.

Seeing that the woman was alone and was having difficulty maintaining her balance, one of the officers approached her and asked her where she was going.

The woman said she was almost home, and proved to be standing in front of her residence. Due to her clearly intoxicated state, the officers decided to escort her to her apartment door and instructed her to go inside and stay home for the rest of the night.

As the woman began fumbling through her purse to find her key she swayed back and forth, nearly crashing headfirst into the door multiple times.

After several minutes of searching, the woman asked officers if she could contact her roommate. The subject used her cell phone to call her roommate, and said, “Nicky, can you one seven me?”

The woman informed her roommate that she was with law enforcement officers in front of the residence, and asked her roommate to “one seven” her again.

At this point, the deputy took the woman’s phone and spoke with the roommate, who said she was at the intersection of Pasado Road and Embarcadero del Mar. The officer asked the woman’s roommate to come unlock residence and take custody of the subject. Nicky replied that she would run home, and would arrive at the residence in two minutes.

While waiting for the roommate to arrive, the woman said she had eight shots of alcohol, and three shots of vodka, and then began talking to herself.

Twice the woman asked officers to “slurge the door” for her, and then began rambling incoherent phrases.

After 10 minutes, the woman’s roommate had not arrived at the apartment, so the subject asked officers if she could call her again.

The woman pulled her digital camera out of her purse, and pressed it against her left ear. The officer asked the subject what she was doing, and the woman replied that she was trying to call her roommate.

While talking on her digital camera, the woman’s phone began to ring. The subject answered the phone and said, “Nicky you have ten warrants to get there, Nicky you have ten warrants before they arrest me.”

The woman ended the conversation and asked the officers if they knew Nicky. She said, “Nicky lives here, she’s my roommate.”

She then told officers, “I don’t like her, she’s psycho. She thinks I am the crazy one, but she is.”

After approximately five minutes, the subject called her friend again and pleaded for her to come home. The officer again took the phone away from the subject and spoke to her roommate. The deputy overheard Nicky on the other end of the line asking for someone to drive her to Santa Barbara to help her roommate.

The officer asked the woman on the phone where she was, and she said would be at the apartment in two minutes, then once again began calling for a ride to Santa Barbara.

Tired of stalling for No-Help Nicky, the deputy told the woman that they could not wait for her roommate any longer and placed her under arrest for public intoxication.

The woman was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, were she was booked, pending sobriety.

Throw the Book at Her
Friday, March 17, 12:44 a.m. – Officers patrolling the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive observed a 19-year-old woman standing in front of a house with an open container.

The officer started to walk toward the woman and watched her drinking from the cup and talking on her phone.

As the deputy got closer to the woman, she recognized his uniform and placed her cup on a parked car.

The officer contacted the woman, looked into the cup she was using and saw that it contained beer. He asked her to walk away from the party to the street, but she refused to move for several minutes before reluctantly complying.

Because she did not have any identification with her, the officer stressed that it was important for the woman to tell the truth about her name and age.

Despite the warning, the woman provided officers with an incorrect name and age, and she was arrested for providing false information to a peace officer.

At the Isla Vista Foot Patrol office, the woman asked officers why she was arrested. After hearing the answer, she got upset and said she was sorry.

She said, “Can you give me a break? I have a final tomorrow.”

The deputies decided that if the woman was too cool to follow the law, she was too cool for school and transported her to the Santa Barbara County Jail for booking.