The ‘human thinks that winter quarter sucks. The homework sucks, the lack of baseball sucks and the weather sucks. Wait, I just said that I suck. Fuck!

Thursday’s forecast: The ‘human vows to start sucking at life so much and maxes out its credit card at Abercrombie and Fitch in an attempt to bolster its coolness. It doesn’t work. Why are my pants ripped?