There’s nothing more disgusting than those examples of “outstanding” papers, reports, etc., that professors and TAs trot out to make you toil harder. I don’t just mean disgusting in the “Eww, who has that much motivation or time?” sense. I mean it in the “Eww, who was crazy enough to attach actual food to their paper?” sense.

Thursday’s forecast: If you’re going to bribe the professor, use something that won’t spoil: cold, hard cash.