I used to think there was nothing that could drive me to kill – not even Tickle Me Elmo. Then I discovered what it’s like to sit next to someone who cracks their knuckles throughout an entire lecture. Specifically, it’s like them saying to you, “I don’t mind the sound of bones cracking. Why don’t you bash in my skull? Use this Tickle Me Elmo.”

Friday’s forecast: Elmo loves arthritis!