Good news! Target — as in the store that isn’t anywhere near UCSB — is donating a 50-foot-tall fake lava lamp to the town of Soap Lake, Wash. The town hopes this will be good for tourism (consider how Darwin, Minn.’s giant ball of twine has made the town as hot as Vegas). Those Washingtonians sure like their lava lamps. Just a couple months ago, a guy near Seattle heated a lava lamp on his stove. The resulting explosion sent a shard of glass through his heart and killed him.

Friday’s forecast: Sure, donating a giant stove to Soap Lake might have seemed like a good idea at first, but…