I don’t really understand this reality TV fad. And by no means am I exaggerating when I say you can flip through every channel on your 100-plus cable listing and find at least 25 reality shows, with more or less the same damn scenarios.

What ever happened to drama, comedy, romance and what television actors are best known for: bad acting? I hate to say it, but I miss the days when the only shows that came to mind when the phrase “reality TV” was mentioned were “COPS,” “Love Connection” and “Real World.”

Reality shows have become so mundane, overdone, predictable – I could go on, but you get the idea – that FOX has to tap into its so-called creativity to air a show that hasn’t been done yet. First came “The Bachelor,” in which a fairly cute middle class male was free to pursue multiple women who were out of his league, as they threw themselves pathetically at his sorry ass. I find it amusing that the basis of this show is to find true love, but the only thing anyone ever finds out is who the best lay is. How big of a douche bag are you if you can’t get laid and have to resort to finding it on television? Then again, maybe I’m just jaded because I live in I.V.

And here comes my personal favorite, the “spin-off” reality show. Let’s use the same basic idea formula, but throw in a superficial twist at the end. Enter shows like “Joe Millionaire” and “Average Joe.” I thought the idea was to find the love of your life, but this show tells singles across the country it’s better to settle than to get stuck with a nerd.

But wait, it gets better: multiple seasons! I find it sad that these shows drew enough interest to warrant another season that the producers moved to a new location.

Speaking of which, could someone please tell me how a different location makes a show like “Survivor” any better? Moving the show from Africa to Australia isn’t going to improve anything other than the scenery. You can only take so many catfights, breakups and booty calls before getting physically sick. It’s called “reality” because the writers are running out of ideas, so let’s just take “normal” people off the streets and let them write the script for us.

Interestingly enough, reality TV isn’t just limited to real people. It even ventures out into the world of actual celebrities and people with more money than Donald Trump. Because we all know that seeing an unscripted fight and make up between famous people is so much better than living it on our own. It definitely makes me feel good about myself when I watch TV about other people’s shitty lives and essentially waste the hours in mine. What’s even better is how once a celebrity gets big, their younger, usually more annoying and less cute sibling decides to mooch off their famous last name and hop on the reality TV bandwagon. Not that I’m one for name-dropping or anything, but does Ashlee ring a bell?

Despite the attempts of famous celebrities to become reality stars, they reverse all that reality TV stands for. People with that much money, living lives in the manner that they do, are not reality. How many of us at UCSB take a limo to class, have too much fame to have actual friends so the only people we can associate with are our producers or carry around tiny dogs in our purses? Wait, I knew a girl who did that, but that’s still one out of 20,000. My point is Paris should stick to what she does best: night vision porn and nix the whole acting idea.

But seriously, we – especially as college students – have more drama in our lives than any ridiculous television plot could provide. I love putting off actual fights and hookups to watch someone less competent do it on TV.

All I’m asking is that you save yourself the time and trouble. Fuck it, go out and experience the real world on your own, instead of living vicariously through your television set.

Daily Nexus staff writer Monique Moyal instead lives her life vicariously through “Chappelle’s Show,” “I got rich from this column, bitch!”