For those of you who had the pleasure of hanging out in I.V. over the Halloween weekend, I hope you all had a good time. It got a little crowded, but, overall, things really seemed to go well. I had the opportunity to talk to a few people out there and it seemed like most everyone I spoke with was having a good time. Even most of the cops working over the weekend seemed to think that the three days were filled with a lot of people having a good time and only a few minor problems overall.

So to all of the students out there, I want to take this opportunity to say thanks for working with us in making this a safe Halloween. We couldn’t have done it without you. Aww, come on… group hug…

While walking down Del Playa last night, some guy grabbed my ass. What can I do about it?

What is it about being in a crowd that seems to make it OK in some people’s minds to grab someone’s butt? If that’s the case, maybe a girl going around randomly kicking guys in the balls is OK, too. Although it seems like harmless fun to some, it is actually a crime – sexual battery – that can have some pretty severe consequences. Imagine trying to explain in a job interview why you’re on probation for a sexual assault charge. Not good…

Just remember, guys: You can kiss her ass, just don’t grab it. And if it happens to you? Make a big scene, point out the guy responsible and let him know it’s not all right. Embarrass the hell out of him and then let the cops know what happened. We’d like to have a nice talk with him about treating people with respect.

The other night the police came to my apartment and said they had a neighbor complain about the noise from our place. It was only 9 p.m. and I know none of our neighbors would complain. Did the police just lie about someone calling?

No, we don’t make up imaginary calls. There are actually quite a few calls that we get that we don’t respond to. When someone calls in to complain about a loud party and it’s before the time for the noise ordinance – 10 p.m. on weeknights and midnight on Friday and Saturdays – we ask them if they are willing to sign a citizen’s complaint against the people making the noise. If they are not willing to sign the complaint, we usually will not send an officer to quiet the party down. Without the complaint, there is no law being broken, and we have no reason to go there unless there’s a violation of the noise ordinance.

The next logical question we are usually asked is, “Who called?” But we don’t release the name of the person who called unless we actually write a ticket or make an arrest. Our first goal is to just quiet the party down so that it doesn’t bother the neighbors. Most of the time, we will just give a warning and only give a ticket if the neighbor calls back to say the party is still raging. At that point we will issue a citation for disturbing the peace based on the citizen’s complaint.

But why didn’t the neighbor come to you first before calling the cops? Well, would you really want to go to the apartment of someone you may or may not know with 50 or 60 people drinking and partying and tell them to be quiet? That’s not easy. When people call us, they don’t want to get you in trouble; they just want to get some sleep or not have to listen to Biz Markie’s “Greatest Hits” played backward at chipmunk speed for the hundredth time. I know what you’re thinking: “But dude, it’s the Biz!” Yeah, I know…

So again, I just want to say thanks to all of you out there who helped make this a successful and safe Halloween. The residents of UCSB and Isla Vista showed everyone that we can all work together to keep our community safe. When you consider other places that had one-tenth the crowd size and 10 times the problems, I think that all of you deserve a pat on the back. And if you’re not happy with how the weekend went? Let me know. There is always a need to keep working on improving how we do our jobs. I am always willing to talk to anyone who has a concern or problem or any suggestions. We can’t do our jobs without your help. So don’t pass up your chance to Question Authority!

Ticked off by a ticket? Party popped by the Patrol? If you’ve got questions, don’t let it eat away at you. Ask questions. Call Sgt. Signa anytime at 893-4063 or e-mail him at