Well in Hand But On the Loose

Sunday, October 17, 5:03 p.m.: UCPD officers responded to reports of a naked man pleasuring himself on the dirt road by West Campus Family Student Housing. Officers did not immediately see anyone along the road. Upon conducting a search, officers still did not find anyone fitting the man’s description. The area was placed under increased surveillance for the rest of the night in case the man was found.

Sting Like A Bee

Saturday, October 16, 1:13 a.m.: FT residents called police about a loud argument and commotion in one of the rooms. When officers arrived, they found a man near the bike racks wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. He identified himself as the boyfriend of an FT resident with whom he had indeed been having an argument.

Due to the strong odor of alcohol radiating from the man, officers determined that he was drunk. He was arrested for public intoxication and taken to Santa Barbara County Jail. He was housed pending sobriety.

Bank of “I’m A Minor”

Saturday, October 16, 12:54 a.m.: Three women, one being supported by the other two, were walking on Ocean Road near Manzanita Village. An officer on a routine patrol of the area asked them to stop, but the women continued walking. The woman who was being supported showed signs of intoxication and, when asked for her driver’s license, produced her ATM card. The officer asked again for her license and she eventually found it in her wallet, even though it was in plain view to the officer the entire time. The woman said she was 18 when asked her age, but an identification check showed that she was actually only 17 years old – still not old enough to stumble around drunk.

The woman was transported to Santa Barbara Juvenile Hall, where she was booked and housed pending sobriety.

Dude, What Was I Waiting For?

Sunday, October 10, 3:55 a.m.: Officers on routine patrol noticed a man sleeping on a bench at the bus loop. He had a 16-inch-long, multicolored water bong sticking out of his pocket. When officers asked him what he was doing, the man replied that he was waiting for the bus. The man showed signs of intoxication and was unable to produce an acceptable form of identification.

Police arrested the man for possessing marijuana paraphernalia and for being drunk in public. He was transported to Santa Barbara County Jail where he was housed pending sobriety.

– Compiled by Lindsey Miller