Shiny, greased-up suntans to the newly established Pita Pit for providing a yummy late-night alternative to Freebirds.

Itchy, scratchy sunburns to the I.V. parking plan proposal for charging us up the ass for permits that don’t guarantee us parking spots.

Buff, bronzed suntans to the Art Studio 4D classes for dotting our campus with weird, amusing things to look at on our way to class.

Crusty, third-degree sunburns to Chandler Briggs for damaging his credibility as a PAC/GPAC student representative by bitching about Isla Vistans with cars.

Sparkly, scantily clad suntans to Sociology Professor Verta Taylor for spicing up her lecture with a drag queen show.

Mentally destabilizing, out-of-tune sunburns to the Storke Tower bells being temporarily zany.

Rocked-out suntans to A.S. Program Board for bringing Dave Chappelle and other impressively kick-ass acts to UCSB this year.

Ridiculously expensive sunburns to the UC Regents for increasing student fees for the 2004-05 school year.

Sexy, drippy suntans to the 60-plus applications we got for next year’s Wednesday Hump columnist.