Hair is a part of life. Whether you like it or not, hair is an inescapable certainty that we must live with. Many of you may have a bit of the amazon growing between your thighs, and others still may call themselves Captain Fire Crotch, but either way, the hair in your nether-regions is there for some reason or another – it’s part of evolution. So riddle me this, people – what is the deal with society’s obsession with shaving it all off?

It’s ironic that I’m arguing a cynical point of view against shaving because I honestly can’t think of a great reason not to go bare down there. That kinky, coarse hair is not attractive, and at best has a tendency to make your crotch look like a weathered, old sponge. It’s not really like facial hair, where you can be trendy by changing its style either. Furthermore, the average person’s pubes are smothered in sweaty, confining underwear all day, so wouldn’t it be nicer to have a bit more breathing room between the cotton clothes and the cock ‘n’ balls? A logical step, then, seems to be to get rid of it altogether. I’m not talking about shaving it all off and trying to donate it to Locks of Love – that would be sick and twisted. I pity the recipient of any wig made out of pubic hair, unless they really want to look like the guy from those “American Pie” movies. By the way, if your pubic hair is long enough to dedicate to a wig-making facility, you should seriously consider changing your hygiene routine so that things don’t get out of hand, or rather, out of pants.

On the other hand, I can’t think of any convincing reasons to get rid of it. Sure, shaving prevents occurrences like finding unsightly pubes in your mouth during oral sex, but if you’re grossed out by a little curly hair in your oral cavity, you better stop to think about what put you down there in the first place. In case you hadn’t realized: You are licking someone’s genitalia, not having an annual teeth-cleaning. Thus, a little hair here and there shouldn’t really bother you too much. Then again, if you have braces, you could end up looking like you just stuck your face in a box of Brillo pads.

My problem with the shaving situation is that I’ve heard many guys state that it’s really hot to see a girl with no hair on her vagina. Did I miss something, or do men like to see grown women sporting the 12-year-old look downstairs? I thought R. Kelly was the only man still into that sort of thing. And the look is perpetuated in dirty magazines and porn everywhere. I am sure you all know that the people you sleep with are not carbon copies of the models in porno mags, so there is no point in pressuring each other to look like them.

Furthermore, why do women have to go through great pains to rip out genital hair by the roots? I can’t recall ever complaining about an overabundance of butt hair on any of the male partners I’ve been with, although perhaps I should have at some point. I mean, some of you could probably keep a family of baby mice warm in all that crack hair but I, for one, have never suggested pouring hot wax on it and tearing it out in gobs.

Then there are those people who think it’s cute to have little designs of shapes or names cut out of their beastly pubic regions. That is one of the tackiest things I can ever imagine thrusting at me in the bedroom. What exactly is sexy about pulling down your girlfriend’s panties to discover, “I heart Craig” carved out of her wiry and otherwise unruly bush?

I say if you find someone to do the nasty with, don’t make them feel like their hair is the nasty part. You should appreciate the other person’s genitals whether they are bald as a Buddha or gorilla-riffic. The hair thing is rather trivial; what you really need to worry about is if their genitals are covered in warts. If the shaved look is your thing, stick to a shaved partner who has neither warts nor suspicious rashes down under. This way the choice is simple – healthy with hair, or smooth and STD-stricken? I’d take the mounds of hair any day.

Kate Rice is the Daily Nexus sex columnist.