Editor’s Note: This article appeared as part of our April’s Fools issue.
The underground has cleaned up.
Extreme vacuum racing has surfaced at UCSB as an official coed club sport and has established itself as one of Santa Barbara’s premier clubs.
“We could not be more excited to show everyone the fast-paced sport of vacuum racing,” senior relay team anchor and Vacuum Racing Club president Omaran Markazey said. “Soon people will choose to attend our meets instead of going to basketball games.”
Last weekend, the Gaucho racers participated in the First Annual All-California Extreme Vacuum Racing Invitational, taking second place behind Cal Poly, who finished a mere nine seconds before Santa Barbara.
“Cal Poly has a little more experience than we do because of all the tractor racing they do on campus,” Markazey said. “But our team has the talent to win championships.”
UCSB, Cal Poly and Riverside will move on to the Western Regionals, which will be held in Fresno on Saturday, April 17. Head Coach Sally Hansen is confident that her team will go far.
“If we can move past this next round, we will make it to nationals,” Hansen said. “There’s some tough competition from the dustier states, but we have a talented team here.”
Originating as Dust Bowl aftermath, extreme vacuum racing was launched in the Midwest with the popularity seen by lacrosse on the East Coast and slowly moved across the nation as a widely popular underground sport not recognized by any official organizations. As its popularity grew, active participants such as Markazey worked under the jurisdiction of UCSB’s Office of Student Life until the team was finally recognized as an official club sport this year.
Santa Barbara has included in its plans for the new athletic facility being built adjacent to Rob Gym a $50,000 extreme vacuum racing floor, equipped with removable dust panels.