Valentine’s Day may just be the most bogus of all holidays, according to Artsweek, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know how to celebrate in style. Now, there are those among us with a less than critical eye when it comes to picking the proper smooch-worthy V-Day gift. Confused among the sea of pink, red and white, it’s understandable that Godiva truffles could be confused with chocolate frogs or silken lingerie for a $1.99 deck of Love Truth or Dare cards. So as to prevent such common Valentine’s pitfalls, Artsweek offers a rating system on what common, or not-so-common gifts are likely to make your sweetie blush or leave you with a stinging, freshly-slapped cheek.

– chocolate bottle
OK, what self-respecting college student is going to prefer a hollow fake bottle of champagne made out of cheapo chocolate to the real bubbly-bubbly? Honestly! Plus, women don’t feel sexy when they’re trying to chomp off a hunk of chocolate from an oversized bottle. Give ‘er the Cristal… or at least the Andr