College is a time when you are forced to make sacrifices. As a freshman you sacrifice mom’s home-cooked meals for dorm slop and your own room at home for a hole in the wall that you must share with a random other student who will most likely annoy you.

Imagine being a freshman about a month into school and settling down for bed one night. Just as you start to drift off your roommate comes home drunk off her ass along with her equally inebriated, equally horny counterpart, a boy from down the hall. As you hear the smacking of their sloppy, drunken kisses and wonder whether to pretend to sleep or push through them as you run out the door you may also realize that you have sacrificed not only the pristine sanctity of what it was like to live at home but you have now stepped into the realm of living quarters that are too close for comfort.

Whether in the dorms or sharing a room with someone you actually know there is nothing more inconvenient than being “sexiled” by your roommate. This can happen in many different ways. First case scenario is similar to that mentioned above. The roommate comes home with a companion and they’re so drunk that to them the combination of the words “beer” and “goggle” sounds like the title of Christina Aguilera’s latest chart-topping cacophonous tragedy.

The most damning factor of this scenario is that the pair remains completely unaware of any other person in the room, unabashedly feeding their ravenous sexual appetites while in front of a live studio audience.

Such circumstances always lead to the roommate mentally grappling over undesirable options: “Do I run away now, tell them to stop or hang around to either watch or listen to this fluid exchange?” This is sexile by necessity: The person never even bothers to ask you to leave but leaving quickly becomes the best alternative, even if you are forced to sleep on the front lawn.

Another situation is your roommate showing up some time in the wee hours of the morning, demanding a magic disappearing act from you. That is one of the more insulting ways to lose your half of the room because upon simply minding your business in the room you are suddenly force-fed a first class, grade A ticket to “get the hell out of here.”

In the case of a third scenario, the roommate actually has enough sense to politely approach you with the idea. If they want to have the room, they will be excessively nice to you, beg, bribe and plead to have it for one night – perhaps even a couple of hours. Unfortunately for most, however, not many roommates are willing to do such groveling for the convenience of your absence.

No matter how the situation occurs, perhaps you want to let your roommate get some booty and don’t mind leaving for one night. Or maybe you have been in their position before and believe in karma. I say, if you are so graciously going to suffer a night in the noisy living room on a couch that is probably so dirty it’s flame retardant, you might as well get something out of it. What sounds good to you? Laundry or dinner? A movie? A one way ticket to the reciprocal roommate sexile redeemable any time?

Which brings me to my next point, the river flows both ways. If you are reading this thinking about all the times you have jacked the room and kicked your roommate to the curb, maybe you should be a little more considerate next time.

Offer up a trade-off of room one-nighters so that your roommate can at least try to get as lucky as you. At least talk to the roommate about it so that when the situation does arrive, it won’t be completely awkward. Then again, if your roommate happens to be Willy the wiener who sits in front of his computer and plays Counter Strike all day, you probably don’t have to worry about being sexiled too often by him. As for those of you who have single rooms, feel free to laugh at those of us who suffer the roommate sexile. That is, until you throw the next party and two random people end up locking themselves in your room and having sex in your bed. We’ll see who’s laughing then.

Daily Nexus sex columnist Kate Rice: always the sexiler, never the sexiled.