It’s a good day for dildos, furry handcuffs and American values.

On Tuesday, Victoria’s Secret – merchants of bras and panties modeled by pointy-chinned, giraffe-necked women with IQs roughly equal to their cup sizes – suffered from a legal disorder. The Supreme Court ruled that the leader in lingerie could not force a small sex shop in Kentucky to change its name. Sort of a moot point, really, since the shop already changed its name twice: from “Victor’s Secret” to “Victor’s Little Secret” to “Cathy’s Little Secret.”

Still, it’s nice to know that tits, ass and lawyers don’t buy everything.

Wednesday’s forecast: Tie each other up.

For freedom.