After careful research, I have determined that there are only three kinds of midterms. In keeping with UCSB’s fine tradition of simplifying issues until an acronym can be found, I have listed them below:

CAL: Choose And Lose, otherwise known as Multiple Choice. These can be taken on any of three different scantron sheets, leading to the inevitable poor bastard in the front row who bought the wrong one.

IDSEE: IDentifications, Short Essay, Essay tests can be found in nearly any social science course. By law, 90% of students will spend all their time on the wrong section, while some prick in the back skips to the essay and blows the curve.

BBPWN: Big Blank Page With Numbers. There’s plenty of room for you to show your work – or draw pictures depicting creative methods of killing your professor.

Friday’s forecast: Good luck.