I hear they’ve canceled the plan to put giant cement islands on all the I.V. streets. So in effect, the county has paid a lot of money to mark all the roads with useless construction paint.

Don’t be depressed though. What we have here is a one-half-square-mile court for an entirely new contact sport.

The contestants will divide into teams and attempt to make their way from one end of the course to the other by dodging a sea of horny assholes and drunk women, while incurring as few fouls as possible.

Well, maybe “new” isn’t the word for it…

Perhaps capture the flag would work out better.

Thursday’s forecast: Let the games begin.