Artsweek entered into a psilocybin trance wherein all the secrets of the record labels were revealed unto us. Never ones to deprive the goody-two-shoes of titillating news from the future, we hereby give you a list of forthcoming albums to look forward to this summer. Releases listed alphabetically by genre. Release dates are in parentheses.

Genre: All the Bad Kids Are on Ritalin
Dillinger Escape Plan | Irony Is a Dead Scene | Epitaph (8/13)

Genre: Causing More Penile Insecurities Than 20 Fingers
Yeah Yeah Yeah’s | s/t | Touch & Go (7/9)

Genre: Cooler With or Without the Moustache? You Make the Call!
Queen | Platinum Collection | Hollywood (6/25)

Genre: Go Folk Yourself, Motherfolker
Bright Eyes | Lifted | Saddle Creek (8/13)

Genre: How Many R’s in Grrrl? (Grrl? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl?)
Sleater-Kinney | One Beat | Kill Rock Stars (8/20)

Genre: Music For Doing Drugs To
Tricky | A Ruff Guide to Tricky | Island (6/25)

Genre: Music Produced While Drugged
Flaming Lips | Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots | Warner Brothers (7/16)

Genre: Music So Many People Have Done Drugs to, It’s Getting Trite
Velvet Underground | The Velvet Underground & Nico – Deluxe Edition | Polydor (6/25)

Genre: Party Like It’s 1999
Basement Jaxx | Get Me Off [EP] | Astralwerks (7/9)

Genre: Slam! The Turtle! The Turtle! Or Whatever It Was They Were Saying
Onyx | Bacdafucup | Kela/Koch (6/25)

Genre: Them White Rumps, They Be Shakin’
Nelly | Nellyville | Universal (7/25)

Genre: This Is Not Your Parents’ Rock ‘n’Roll. No, Wait, Yes It Is
Sonic Youth | Murray Street | DGC (6/25)

Genre: Yes, We Are Being Ironic
aJoe Satriani | Strange Beautiful Music | Epic (6/25)

All release dates courtesy Pitchforkmedia.com. All editorializing courtesy Artsweek’s own naughty, irreverent selves.