Artsweek recommends you leave your house occasionally. But hell, we don’t. Listed chronologically by date.

June 21 – June 28: Santa Barbara Writer’s Conference at Westmont College
Draw: Ray Bradbury and Julia Child will be featured as keynote speakers.
Drawback: So will Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Where’s Fahrenheit 451 when you need it?

June 25 – Oct. 13: Salvador Dal’’s “Divine Comedy” works at the University Art Museum
Draw: Dal’’s woodcarvings provide lyrical visuals based on Dante’s infamous poems.
Drawback: Some people fear having religious images sing to them.
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July 10 – July 14: The Santa Barbara County Fair at the Santa Maria Fairpark
Draw: Cheap Trick will be there, perhaps singing the best song ever written: “I Want You to Want Me.”
Drawback: Too many corn dogs plus Billy Ray Cyrus may break our achy hearts.

July 13 – July 14: The Santa Barbara French Festival at Oak Park, from 11-7.
Draw: This is the largest French festival in the United States.
Drawback: This is the largest French festival in the United States.

July 31 – Aug. 4: Santa Barbara Old Spanish Days (Fiesta!) at the Old Mission, MacKenzie Park, Plaza de la Guerra, SBCC and more
Draw: Lots of clean, fun entertainment and people with confetti-filled eggs.
Drawback: Drunk morons forgetting that their eggs don’t have confetti in them.

Aug. 4, 11, 18 and 25: “Celebrating Pixar Animation Studios,” presented by Arts & Lectures at Campbell Hall at 7:30 p.m.
Draw: Pixar makes some good movies with unprecedented computer graphics quality.
Drawback: It’s corporate sedation of the masses, but hey – it’s free.