Splish, Splash

Saturday, May 25, 1:00 a.m.: Francisco Torres residents on the second floor of North Tower decided to bring out their water toys in spite of the overcast weather. The residents blocked off the exterior entrances to the floor, blacked out the windows and set up a Slip ‘n Slide down the hallway.

The Francisco Torres administration called the Isla Vista Foot Patrol and University of California Police Dept. officers to break up the pool party and said the residents would be held responsible for water damages to the floor.

Five-Finger Discount

Friday, May 24, 11:24 p.m.: Employees at International Market called the Foot Patrol after a 20-year-old man tried to eat and run. The suspect opened a bag of Lay’s potato chips and a can of bean dip and started eating in the store. When the owner asked whether or not he planned to pay for his snack, the suspect tried to run out the door but was stopped by two clerks.

An officer brought the man to the IVFP station where he admitted to drinking earlier that evening. According to the police report, the suspect said, “Me and my friend walked in and were like, ‘what do you want to buy, what do you want to buy?’ … when all of a sudden, BOOM! Tackled by the neck.”

An officer asked if the suspect intended to pay for the chips and he said, “That’s EXACTLY what they were asking! ‘Who’s going to pay, who’s going to pay?’ … then BOOM! Tackled by the neck.”

The officer asked a few more questions but did not get a response because the subject “looked like he was confused.”

The suspect was booked into Santa Barbara County Jail for petty theft.

Midnight Serenade

Saturday, May 25, 11:15 p.m.: An annoyed I.V. resident called the Foot Patrol office to complain about loud music coming from a party next door. The local noise curfew takes effect at midnight, but people can call the IVFP at any time to request action if “their peace has been disturbed.”

Officers explained that the caller had to sign a complaint in order to shut down the party. The caller, who believed a signature should be unnecessary, said, “But it’s such BAD music.” The officers went to the party and asked the revelers to turn down their bad music; the disturbed neighbor put on a Yanni CD and went back to bed.

Go Back to Tucson, but Leave the MGD

Friday, May 24, 11:50 p.m.: A group of ten men went to a house on the 6700 block of Trigo Road where one of its members ripped off a screen from a window. The suspect, a student at the University of Arizona, then tried to reach inside the window and steal an 18-pack of Miller Genuine Draft.

The victims saw the suspect and called the police. Foot Patrol officers spotted the group and asked the men to sit on the curb while they talked to the victims. The group denied all involvement at first, but after the victim and one of the beer-snatcher’s own friends positively identified the suspect, officers arrested him for residential burglary.

— Ladan Moeenziai