Editors Note: This is the first installment of a multi-part story about rape and its aftermath. Installments of “It Affects Me” will run every Wed. here on the Opinion page. April is Sexual Assualt Awarness Month. The authors are media interns for the Rape Prevention Education Program.

It’s four o’clock in the morning and all I can think is that if I had just let her borrow my leather pants this never would have happened.

So I guess I should start at my house. We were pre-partying there, and it was cool. Eva looked hot – she always looks hot – which is part of the problem. She was wearing these dark jeans and this sparkly shirt that said “Material Girl” on it.

I could go into a lot of detail about how hot she looked, but it all boils down to one thing – Eva is a lot prettier than me, and I’m jealous of her – was jealous of her; I’m getting over that. So anyway, we were drinking and somehow Eva managed to spill a beer, in its entirety, on her new jeans. So there I was staring at my Corona-soaked friend while listening to her ask to borrow my leather pants.

Now, I know it’s stupid, but I couldn’t let her borrow my pants. I just bought these pants, and they were $274. And the sad thing is that’s not even the reason I couldn’t let her borrow them. These pants were supposed to give me the hot ass. Two hundred and seventy-four dollars was a small price to pay for me to feel what it’s like to be Eva – the sought-after pretty girl.

So because of my own insecurities, or let’s call it what it is – sick selfishness and narcissism – she and I made the trek back to her place so she could get another pair of jeans. She wasn’t even mad. She was in the best mood and so glad that I was with her. She suggested that we just “finish up” there, since her roommates were pre-partying too.

It seems like no sooner than we walked through her door, that Eva already had the hottest guy there following her around. I remember thinking it was so unfair. There she was, smelling like Mr. Corona had just puked on her and she still got all the attention.

She introduced the guy to me as Brad or maybe Aaron. For the life of me I can’t remember – I couldn’t even remember then. She excused us so that she could change her jeans. While she changed, she told me that this guy was in some of her classes, and how she never noticed how hot he was until tonight. I couldn’t believe the solace people take in a common interest of BioChem. My dumb luck for majoring in Econ.

When we went out to the party again, it took what’s-his-name about two seconds to find us. Two whole seconds. Some friends, or whoever the guys were standing behind him, were talking about Q’s, but he insisted that they had no definite plans. When Eva told him that we would be Calypso-bound, he assured us that he would be there too – and moments later, the three of us actually hopped on Bill’s Bus and went there together.

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Eva was so happy – and I was happy for her. I can’t believe a night that started like that could have ended up like this…

Imani Rupert and Muriel Philips are media interns for the Rape Prevention Education Program.