Editor’s Note: This story is from the April Fool’s issue of the Daily Nexus.

Is a new hairdo and shave reason enough to lose a job in Santa Barbara County?

If you ask Sheriff Jim Thomas, it is.

A coalition of residents, who call themselves CGS, or Citizens for a Gray Sheriff, have filed suit protesting sheriff-elect Jim Anderson’s new look, which they say has completely nullified his March 5 victory at the polls.

Anderson dyed his gray locks and shaved off his mustache last week in preparation for his 30-year high school reunion this weekend.

Yesterday, Sheriff Thomas and about 100 supporters rallied at the Sunken Gardens at the Santa Barbara County Courthouse for a press conference to announce their intent to recall.

“When voters went out there on March 5, they voted for a representative with gray hair and a mustache, ensuring the continuation of a longstanding tradition of sheriff look-alikes in Santa Barbara County,” Sheriff Thomas said. “We cannot have this election process become a mockery because of a dye and shave job at some hoity-toity Montecito salon. The voters will not stand for this – a man without a mustache is not the man for me.”

CGS – a group made up of many of the same citizens attempting to recall 3rd District Supervisor Gail Marshall – explained that they see the recall process not as a means to oust representatives who have acted illegally, but rather as a way to tell people they don’t like them.

Lammy Johnstone Kockler, a Carpinteria resident, said she voted for both Marshall and Anderson, but later changed her mind.

“Anderson simply is not the same man in my eyes that he was a mere month ago,” Mrs. Kockler said. “His dye job makes him … less distinguished. I simply can’t stand idly by while a man with brown hair runs our Sheriff’s Dept. We don’t tolerate non-conformity in these parts and the sheriff especially should damn well know that.”

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