The major difficulty in dating within the independent rock scene is the Get Up Kids.

See, half of the indie kids out there love them with a passion normally saved for puppies and Cameron Crowe films, while the other half regards the band in the same way Noriega regarded the American sound vans outside his Panama City compound. B-side compilation Eudora might very well be an attempt to provide a soundtrack to any sexual encounter between the two camps, and this review will focus on the benefits and drawbacks of humping to this album.

Benefit: The covers are all self-consciously doofy, inspiring smirks and giggles. Fun sex is good sex, right?

Drawback: Matt Pryor’s voice is so utterly emasculated, any male hearing it would probably experience sympathetic shrinkage.

Benefit: That probably means more foreplay.

Drawback: The good originals don’t come until 47:11 into the album.

Benefit: If you get to them, you’ve had sex for 47 minutes and 11 seconds!

Drawback: The doubletime Pixies cover is quite good, and might finish off a guy then and there.

Benefit: Girls especially seem to love the Get Up Kids.

Drawback: Some guys are gay.

Benefit: The lead guitar is sugary and cheesy to the extreme, like having fondue in bed.

Drawback: The originals are almost exclusively earnest songs about girls, and some guys, as has been said, are gay.

Benefit: The band members are attractive in that disheveled, post-punk sort of way, and helpfully paste their mugs all over the cover, making for easy fantasizing.

Drawback: The fact that one of you is going to wake up in the morning and realize you just had sex with a Get Up Kids fan.