Thursday: All sobriety and no malt liquor makes UCSB a dull boy. It’s time to chase down that Natty Light with some intoxicating rhymes from Tha Liks, the collection of West Coast hip hoppers formerly known as Tha Alkaholiks. Find out why J-Ro says he “don’t drink JD no more.” The show, brought to you by Associated Students’ Program Board, is in the Hub tonight at 8. Tickets are $13 pre-sale, $15 general admission. For a more folky, caffeinated evening of acoustic goodness, Antara and Delila will be giving a storyteller performance with Kris Delmhorst at Muddy Waters. Tickets are $7, show starts at 7 p.m. Muddy Waters is located at 508 E. Haley St., downtown. There’s limited seating, so pre-ordering tickets is recommended.

Friday:I felt so bad the last time my girlfriend blew my brains out. The Santa Barbara Film Society presents 10 award-winning shorts from cult animators Don Hertzfeldt and Bill Plympton in The Don & Bill Show: Slightly Bent. Both animators have been featured on MTV’s Liquid Television as well as in Spike & Mike’s Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation. Hertzfeldt, an alumnus of UCSB’s film studies department, will give a Q&A following the screenings. The event will be held tonight and Saturday night at 8 p.m. at I.V. Theater. Tickets are $5 for SB Film Society members and $7 for general admission.

Saturday & Sunday:Boy meets girl, girl dumps boy for pretty boy, boy tries to get girl back, girl says no, boy kills girl. There’s extra credit if you go see Carmen, the classic love-triangle tale by Georges Bizet. Carmen plays at the Lobero Theatre, located at 33 E. Canon Perdido St. Call 963-0761 for ticket information and show times. If perhaps the opera is a little too high-priced for you, the UCSB Guitar Ensemble will be playing at The Presidio on Sunday. The show will include works by Bach, Handel and others. The Presidio is located at 40 E. Anapamu St. Tickets are $8 general, $5 for students. The show starts at 3 p.m.

Monday:”Roby [the keyboardist] is totally anorexic but totally pretty,” says one music dweeb who’s too busy collecting records to meet girls. Wanna learn more about Roby Newton? Go see Milemarker – the synth-driven, coed, post-hardcore band from Virginia – playing tonight at The Living Room. Come find out why they’ve been called “Berlin fucking Fugazi”and what’s behind such deepisms as: “Even depression’s not depressing anymore/ Even disconnection can’t connect us anymore.” The Living Room is located at 430C S. Fairview in Goleta, by the airport. The show starts at 8 p.m. Call 692-8550 for further details. All ages are welcome.

Tuesday:Hey, baby, it’s cold outside, but lately, there’s been an utter lack of the very cool. Remedy that by visiting SOhO Restaurant and Music Club for a big band-styled show by The UCSB Jazz Ensemble, playing their annual benefit for the Loren Toder Memorial Scholarship. Dance along as Director Jon Nathan and his 20-piece ensemble light up the night with their hip sound. SOhO is located at 1221 State St., downtown. The show starts at 8:30 p.m. and there is a suggested donation of $5 at the door. Proceeds will directly benefit the scholarship, which is awarded each year by the UCSB Music Department.

Wednesday:When the blocks of ice melt and I fall over, the piece is finished. Violins with tape. Witness the visionary performance artist Laurie Anderson as she premieres a new solo work at Campbell Hall. The new, yet-unnamed piece will be a diversion from her previous technological work and will feature acoustic instruments. Like her earlier work, she will be examining contemporary culture from a variety of perspectives, including that of a McDonald’s worker in New York City’s Chinatown and as an Amish farm worker in Pennsylvania. The performances will start at 8 p.m. on Wednesday and Thursday. Tickets are $35 and $30 for the general public, $19 and $16 for students.