Editor, Daily Nexus:

Ah, the joy of living in Isla Vista. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy the potholes, the noise and the terrible food places that lovely I.V. provides.

This is exactly the reason why I do not understand the need for a contest to [Re] Vision Isla Vista. I noticed that four out of the five finalists are not even from Santa Barbara – have they ever seen I.V.?

Not to name names, but how could someone propose a light rail? I’m sorry, but we are not in Orlando. We do not need to get from Disney World to Epcot Center. Most of us have cars, or friends with cars, who can drive us to the Santa Barbara airport; we don’t need a light rail to get us there. In addition, a bluff-top park was proposed by relocating houses and other structures to create a “more natural and scenic edge in Isla Vista.” I don’t know about you, but when has I.V. been natural and scenic? How do you make it more natural and scenic?

A proposed pier for a variety of “leisure activities?” Do these “leisure activities” include getting drunk and puking off the pier? I can’t imagine fellow students participating in leisure activities unless they include drinking. Can we please forget the idea of a park? People who live in I.V. are mainly students, I don’t think too many students will frolic in the jungle gym and have picnics in the park next to the homeless people in I.V.

My last gripe is about the proposed “remote satellite parking structure” and metered 90-minute parking along Del Playa for the year 2050. I guess the students going to school in 2050 will be further screwed over by expensive parking permits and tickets from expired meters. What I’m wondering is how do we get rid of the smell of the lagoon? Who knows what is in that thing? I wish an architect would take care of that smell right now.

So in conclusion, I propose we move out of I.V., drop a small nuke on it and wait 50 years to rebuild I.V. and move students back in.