Lily Garcia-Daly / Daily Nexus

Human beings seem to have this innate desire to put things in orifices, whether it be their finger up their nose, their hand into a dark hole in the public bathroom wall or, in this case, a phallic object up their buttholes. Lucky for us, the last one tends to feel pretty good, granted it’s done conscientiously.

Never had the desire to stick something up your ass? Well, hopefully after you read this article, you’ll be a bit more open-minded.

Now, while butt play can feel good to just about anybody, those with male anatomy have the pleasure advantage here. About 2.5-3 inches up their booty, men have this glorious thing called the prostate. No, it’s not just there to potentially give people life-threatening cancer; in fact, the prostate is a magical organ that can provide men with a type of bliss that’s hard to match.

At this point, guys, you might be telling yourselves that it’s “gay” to put stuff up your butt in a sexual way.

I’m here to say, “Nope! Not gay at all.”

Are you attracted to other men? If you answered yes, then okay, yeah, you might be gay. However, if you answered with a resounding no, then you’re not gay, you’re just curious what a dildo might feel like stuffed up your anal canal. The act of fucking yourself in the ass isn’t what’s gay — rather, it’s the attraction to who is doing the fucking.

He freaked out for a second because he didn’t understand what was going on, but once he figured out it wasn’t a sign he was dying, he got waaayyyyy more enthusiastic.

The first time I suggested butt play to my current partner, he agreed because it seemed like something I really wanted to do, not because he thought it would feel good. That opinion changed pretty quickly after I slipped a finger into his ass while giving the most enthusiastic blowjob I’ve ever performed. After a bit more stimulation, he came from fellatio for the second time in his life, so it’s safe to say he was probably into it.

It was even better next time when I got further in and found his prostate. I knew I had struck sex gold when I started massaging the smooth, stiff, spherical lump that lives up there and my guy’s eyes rolled into the back of his head.

He came to when he thought he felt like he was going to pee. Instead, he began leaking an insane amount of pre-cum. Like, it was a small stream flowing down his dick onto his stomach. He freaked out for a second because he didn’t understand what was going on, but once he figured out it wasn’t a sign he was dying, he got waaayyyyy more enthusiastic.

After this session, both of us realized a few things:

1) My fingers were too short and his ass was too tight for me to really get up there.

2) We both wanted to take this much further.

This being said, we talked about it and decided to implement some toys into this new pastime of ours. The existence of toys was not new to us, but, thus far, they’d only been stuck into me. Because it was known by both of us that I was more well-versed in sexual safety and just sexual knowledge in general (thank you, r/sex), Boy trusted me with obtaining the first pocket rocket to enter his butt.

Soon, he was the one asking me to fuck him — not me.

I knew that looking for an ass dildo was going to be different than looking for a pussy dildo for a few reasons. First off, assholes tend to be much tighter than vaginas, so preparation and build-up was going to take longer. This meant that I had to start small and go from there so I didn’t make his butthole a buttchasm.

Second, the shape of the new object needed to be unique so that the prostate would be adequately stimulated. After all, that’s the whole reason we’re doing this. So I started looking at dildos that had a slight curve to them, as suggested by my online research.

Lastly, I looked for something with a smooth texture for easy insertion. I settled on a glass dildo from Amazon for $10 that’s about seven inches long and 1.5 inches in circumference. It has anal beads on one side and a pointed tip on the other for maximum pleasure.

Since I wasn’t planning on letting go while doing the deed, I wasn’t too concerned with finding an ass dildo with a base flare — something commonly suggested to keep shit from getting stuck up there without a way out. My subsequent purchases are definitely going to have a base, though, because I underestimated the slipperiness of lube on glass. Nothing got lost, but it was definitely hard to maintain a stable grip while thrusting.

But let me tell you, that thing is magical. It had Boy begging me to fuck harder, and afterward he said he almost came from just that nearly three times.

He reported that his dick was “sore from being so hard,” but he also said that wasn’t a bad thing. Apparently, the orgasm from a mixture of him fucking me and the dildo in his ass was much more intense than a normal one. He described it as an orgasm he would have after not cumming for a week or so.

Soon, he was the one asking me to fuck him — not me. The next thing on our list is a legitimate strap-on that I’ll use to peg him, which honestly shocked me a bit because I wasn’t even the one to suggest it. I thought we’d go about this process in small increments, maybe a butt plug here and there, but I definitely did not ever picture myself full-on pegging him. Once he proposed it, though, I couldn’t think about anything else. I don’t think I’ll be able to until it actually comes to fruition (which will hopefully be soon).

I’ll leave y’all with a compressed list of Dos and Don’ts in case reading this sparked some curiosity in you and you want to try your hand at sticking things in orifices:

DO go slow. Like any muscle, the anus has to get warmed up before it gets positively rammed, and this can take a few days. That’s right: days. The act of relaxing enough to allow something up your butt takes a while to master, so try incorporating some mild ass play into the sexy times leading up to the big shebang. Also, the feeling of needing to poop might need some getting used to as well (that never really goes away).

DO use lots of lube. Again, assholes are tight. You’re gonna need something to help ease the dildo in there, and lube kinda exists to do that. Make sure you use the right lube, though. Silicone-based lube should never be used with silicone toys because it compromises the integrity of the toy’s structure. Also, oil-based lubes shouldn’t be used with safer sex barriers (i.e. condoms) because those will also deteriorate and can have serious consequences. Water-based lube tends to be the least problematic, but do look into the pros and cons of each type of lube before you get some.

DON’T kinkshame!!!! If you partner asks you if you guys could try this out, don’t freak out and make them feel bad about themselves. I’m not saying you should do it if you don’t want to, but be understanding and calmly explain that you’re not interested. You don’t have to be a dickwad about it.

Roxie Night wants you to be safe and open-minded when experimenting with new things.