Our beloved town of Isla Vista is fun even during our worst finals-induced pain. But what happens when you are the one left behind forced to suffer through the best weather and most stress-free environment all by yourself?
9:00 a.m.: I wake up to say goodbye to my housemates. After they leave, I immediately take my pants off and crawl back into bed.
2:00 p.m.: I wake up from my nap to the ocean and silence. For the first time all quarter, no one is yelling about class or playing The Chainsmokers in the backyard.
7:00 p.m.: I make myself a healthy dinner of mac ‘n’ cheese and dinosaur chicken nuggets and park myself on the couch for a binge-session of “The Office.”
3:00 p.m.: I spend the entire morning and day on the couch continuing my marathon. Dishes are slowly piling up in the sink.
12:00 p.m.: After two days of solitude in my house, I finally leave. The streets are completely abandoned: old notes fly gracefully in the wind and post-final beer cans litter the sidewalks.
2:00 p.m.: I buy myself a coffee from Starbucks, but the satisfaction of taking a great picture and picking a brilliant filter isn’t there without anyone to show it to.
11:00 a.m.: The loneliness is beginning to set in. I crack a beer just to fight the boredom. I crack six more because why the hell not.
1:00 p.m.: The dishes in the sink have stacked so high they look like small towers, or maybe that’s from all the weed I smoked. I’m saving the rest of the gram of weed for the weekend.
1:05 p.m.: I have lost all sense of self control and smoked the entire gram.
1:15 p.m.: Hehe
10 a.m.: I awake two days later out of a weed coma surrounded by empty bags of Doritos. My phone has gone missing. I am completely separated from the outside world.
3:00 p.m.: I have officially run out of food. The ladies at Freebirds have also banned me from eating there because of my “unacceptable conduct” from Thursday. Apparently going behind the counter to add more guacamole to your nachos is “rude” and “inconsiderate to the avocados.”
5:00 p.m.: I ate weird mushrooms that were growing in the backyard for sustenance, possibly Shitaki.
5:30 p.m.: I hear noises coming from 67 block, could there be someone else with me?
6:00 p.m.: I stumble upon a ball happening at an Oceanside house on 67 block. There are men in tuxes and women swirling around in gowns with masks on. I am handed a mask and a glass of champagne from a waiter at the front door. The colors are so beautiful …
2:00 p.m.: I awake in a strange home that I have never seen before. I am handcuffed, and two police officers are talking above me. I am charged with breaking and entering and for being a minor in possession. They asked me if I have anything to say for myself as explanation. All I can say is, “Spring Break 2K17, baby.”
Mia Roncati will be foregoing the usual Cabo Spring Break trip for a kiddie pool and virgin margaritas in her backyard.