We all know about the beautiful gold that is the secret In-N-Out menu, but did you know that your local 7-Eleven also has its own culinary code? Here are some of Nexustentialism’s favorite combinations.
1.) The Devil’s Fingers
If you crave a little bit of heat with your indigestion, ask for this tasty snack. It’s a clever mold of deep-fried mozzarella sticks coated in Sriracha sauce and pickled jalapeño slices. Your morning on the toilet only costs $6 for five sticks.
2.) Surf and Turf Special
Are you looking to impress your date for a low price? Ask the cashier for two Surf and Turfs: a Philly cheesesteak sandwich with popcorn shrimp. They go for $8 a piece but if you say “Nemo sent me” you’ll get the second one free.
3.) Slice and Dice
With so many pizza restaurants in Isla Vista, 7-Eleven tends to get overlooked. Although their pizza is mediocre at best, you can get something even more exciting than diarrhea if you ask for the Slice and Dice. This menu item actually started as a popular promotion in 1997 when the company’s value was falling. In order to sell their gross pizza and attract new customers, they trained their employees how to tell a winning scratcher ticket from a losing one. If you order a Slice and Dice you get a piece of pizza AND a prize, just like Cracker Jack. Price: $3 (but you automatically earn that money back anyway).
Taking after Taco Bell, 7-Eleven decided to start putting Doritos in everything. However, Frito-Lay refused to endorse said products, so instead of taking center stage this dish thrives on the secret menu. For just $3.95 you can get four beef taquitos covered in a dollop of both sour cream and guacamole, with a sprinkling of Dorito Nacho Cheese dust on top. Due to a current promotion, you can get 50% off if you hum all of “The Imperial March.”
5.) Slurp Derp
We wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t mention at least one Slurpee. The Slurp Derp is only available in Isla Vista, as that is where it was conceived in 2005. It’s a new take on the classic rum and coke. The recipe is three parts Coke slush to one part Captain Morgan rum. The down side? It’s only available Friday through Sunday. The upside? You can get the largest size for just $2.79. Party on, Gauchos!