Last week, I sat down with softball players Jessica Berisitanos, Lainey Depompa, and Amanda Ziegler [denoted by J, L, and A respectively]. With a combination of Jessica’s facial expressions, Lainey’s sarcasm, and Amanda’s clever insights, I was thoroughly entertained for 40 minutes. Unfortunately I was denied filling the whole paper…

What rituals or superstitions do you have before playing?

L: I always have to put my left shin guard on first, so if anyone tries to help me, it’s like “thank you, but no thank you.” I also wear eye black (war paint).

J: We created this game that we play before our game. It started back at our team retreat.

L: It’s called “Whaaaaa.” We’re basically just playing in a circle and we kill each other with [an invisible] sword.

J: Oh, and during the national anthem, Lainey does some beats.

L: Yeah, during the national anthem, I add my own symbols and drums. I got some stares from Long Beach.

A: It was pretty loud.

L: Lauren Boser will hum it and Allison Taylor also adds extra symbols, so now we have a whole symphony. Especially when we’re all hitting the line together. It’s good.

What is your most embarrassing moment on the softball field?

L: My very first weekend with the team, we were warming up on the practice field and we did back pedals. My shoelace got caught in my spike on my cleat and I just totally did a backwards somersault and everyone had already finished because I was last in the line, so everybody just watched me.

J: I remember that. I feel like a couple times you would hook your cleat and go boom! I feel like that was this year.

L: Ever since this year, I’ve started double-knotting my cleats so that I have really short ends.

A: It really sucks too because if you’re already clumsy, like myself, it’s extra fun.

L: Oh my gosh, [Jessica] is the sound effects queen.

J: I like animation. I can never do them again either. They just kind of come out. I don’t even intend to do them.

A: My freshman year, I had two really bad pranks pulled on me. I think the worst one was when they bought a rat at a pet store [on an away trip]. I am petrified of rodents, snakes and basically everything but dogs and cats. My sister and coach Ramos take the rat and I’m lying in my bed and they throw the rat at me. I screamed. I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast in my life. I closed the bathroom door and locked myself in there. I think people thought there was a murder.

L: We also have a deer leg. That’s pretty uncommon. It’s kind of a good luck charm.

A: We get some pretty interesting stares. It’s real.

What is your ideal vacation spot?

J: I really want to go to Greece.

L: Oh my gosh, me too.

J: I have family there, like distant family. That’s a fun fact about me.

L: I have royalty in…

J: Shut up! No…

L: I swear I have royalty in Finland. My family is apparently filthy rich.

A: I want to [go to] Europe. I’ve always wanted to go to Spain, Portugal and Italy really bad.

If you were trapped on a deserted island, what’s one thing you would want with you?

L: I think other people would answer that question better for you.

A: Okay let’s play that game. What would I need?

L: The Notebook.

A: Yeah, I kind of have an obsession with [that] movie. My parents have had to take it away from me like twice. I used to watch it every day, no exaggeration.

L: The first time we watched it together, freshman year, I turn around and she is sobbing.

A: Oh yeah, that’s the best part. Gets me every time.

L: And I’m like, “Haven’t you seen this like a million times?”

A: I literally have it memorized. I could tell you guys. [Lainey] would need The Office.

L: Oh, probably, or a Chelsea Handler book. It’s a tossup though because I’m kind of weird about my teeth. I would really, really, really need to floss.

A: Weird fact about [Lainey]: her number-one fear is gingivitis.

L: My two biggest fears are natural disasters and gingivitis.

A: She gets like teary-eyed when she talks about this.

L: I don’t know why and I’m not sure where it came from. I’ve had nightmares before. But really, I had braces in the beginning of high school and I couldn’t floss. It was really impossible. I think afterward, I became a freak about flossing because I had to make up for lost time.

L: I’d say [Jessica] would need a curling iron. You’re always curling your hair…or a shin guard.

J: [has huge purple bruise on left shin] Yeah, God prevent I hit myself with a coconut while I’m on the island. I always hit myself and I always have a bad bruise. It never fails.

L: We’ve reverted to calling that one Timmy.

If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive who would it be?

L: I would have a roundtable of people: Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down. Amanda and I are going to have a combined round table because they’ll be like the same. Will Ferrell for sure, Heath Ledger, just because he’s a total hunk and he has an accent…

A: I love accents. Cristiano Ronaldo.

L: Oh gosh. We’re splitting the tables. We’re parting now.

A: Yeah … Cristiano.

L: First name basis …

J: I would say the cast of Harry Potter. I’m a big fan. And Brian Wilson, the Giants’ pitcher. He’s just weird and I just want to talk to him. Sandra Bullock…

A: Oh I like her. Hey, what if we threw T.O. [Terrell Owens] into that table?

L: It’d be a very drama filled table, but I dig it.

A: Oh my god, I love Chris Brown. He has to be at our table.

L: No. Uh uh … only if I can bring Rihanna.

A: Ok..

J: Awkward.