Once-Forgotten Celtics are Now Looking Luckier



So. This is awkward. I admit it. I wrote that the Celtics were over the hill, but some events have transpired — i.e. the Celtics won — that, as of late, have forced me to re-evaluate my entire life. Or, at the very least, they forced me to reevaluate my view of the NBA Playoffs.  Usually I use this column to thrust onto my loyal readers (which at this point could just be my immediate family) my opinion on all things sports. Even though it is simply an opinion, and not fact, I can still stand to be corrected. And in this case, I deserve some serious revision.

Yes, the Celtics won. And please don’t be sitting there saying “I told you so!” I don’t buy it because we were all thinking the same thing. That is, KG and company were going to look mighty fine in their fishing garb come late April, or maybe, if they were lucky, early May.

Somehow, these old-timers have clotheslined Father Time on their way to the Eastern Conference Finals, where they took Game One on the Magic’s home court. These are the Celtics that, two weeks ago, I thought didn’t have a chance in hell to dethrone Prince James and the wandering buffoons he calls teammates. And let it be known, I have no problem demoting the King to Prince. And I have absolutely no qualms with demoting him to Joker James if he strings together the same sort of pathetic performances next season that he put together for four of the six games of the SECOND ROUND of the playoffs. But I digress.

The Celtics have made Boston believe again. Heck, they made the baby boomers believe that even though the clock is always ticking, you always have time left. The Celtics, instead of copping out and blaming ailing knees, bruised joints or, in Ray Allen’s case, an exhausted jaw (really, as a notorious gum addict myself, the guy needs to stop chewing so hard, and so often; it looks odd and gives him a perpetual scowl that will surely lead to frown lines), they have zoned in even more so on their improbable goal of reaching the NBA Finals.

Sure, they have had a fair share of old man, scratch-your-head moments, like squandering away the big lead in game one, or playing with the same intensity and heart as crash dummies in game three. However, the Celtics, through it all, put together some insane performances over their last series. I mean, two monumental blowouts, as well as two solidly-crafted close-out games, are efforts you could relate to the 2008 Champion Celtics of old, not these old Celtics. Note that when I say old, I’m not necessarily referring to age, although their core three are 99 years old combined. I’m really just alluding to their “look,” or the reputation that precedes them. I already wrote once that Paul Pierce looks like he needs to take a nap (for, like, ever), and I will defend my opinion to my grave. As for the other two, KG walks on two hobbled knees, and Ray Allen has been playing since the turn of the century it seems. Like I said, they shout old.

However, General Manager Danny Ainge has surrounded them with youth, nullifying the old-timer factor. That little punk Rondo has proved his invaluable worth to the team, as well as the other young’n’, Perkins. On yet another side note, I am happy to report the Big Baby has not been too beneficial this series, except for missing shots at the charity stripe and pushing over little kids in the Celtics’ hallway.

I tremendously underestimated the Celtics’ youth leading into the playoffs. The only one yet to be stably revitalized is Pierce, but he seemed to have some semblance of a break-out game in game five of the East Coast Semi’s and had a pretty strong outing two nights ago as well. Still, only time will tell if he chooses to ride the high or push the snooze button on his internal clock. The Celtics’ success in the postseason can be attributed to their blend of maturity levels on the roster. On paper, the 100 years between their “superstars” is not all that attractive, but when infused with the energy of emerging powerhouses like Rondo, it works.

Who knows if they will pull out this series with the Magic? If they do, good job and more power to them. They have done more than anyone has expected of them. However, if they falter after taking the all-important Game One of the Eastern Conference finals, I will be waiting in the wings, ready to come around next year asking what their retirement plans will be with the Golden Girls in Boca.

Daily Nexus sports columnist Julia Speace will feel really awkward if Ray Allen breaks a hip playing Bingo in Florida.

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4 Responses to Once-Forgotten Celtics are Now Looking Luckier

  1. Cassidy Okin Reply

    May 23, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal.” :: Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement, “Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?”

  2. LimaTango Reply

    May 18, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    The previously aforementioned prior post knows what the fack is up. You ahh a baggashit! How dayah you speak ill of awah beloved Celtics?! I mean, I’m tryin’ ta see things youah way but I can’t shove my fackin’ head that fah up my fackin’ ass! The exhalted Celtics did not “clotheline” Father Time! They pahnched him in his Yankee lovin’ nose, took his wallet, then banged aht his sistah in a fackin’ Hummah limo. SO fackin’ pimp! But I digest. “The Celtics have made Boston believe again.” YOU FACKIN’ ASSHAT!! We heah in Beantown have ALWAYS believed! We believed in oh-fouah when Papi went yahd in game fouah of the ALCS thus stahting the sweetest fackin’ comeback in sparts histahry. FACK NEW YARK!! A-Rod is an ankle grabbah!! We believed when our Lahd and Saviah Tawmmy Brady drove the jugganawt that is the Patriahts to more Supah Bawls than I can cawnt. Literally. And we believed when KG and the rest of the Celtics brought back yet anothah bannah to the Gahden you ingahrent doosh. Have fun watching tha Lakahs get fisted by that dirty little Canadian and the rest of those facktards from Feenix. I will be stockin’ up on Smirnoff Ice and Parliaments for my wicked-fun victory pahty.

  3. dailysuxass Reply

    May 18, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Fack you, you facking shitbawx fah writing ahff the legendary Baahstan Sawx Nation!! KG and Ray Allen will nevah be too ahld to bring home titles, and if they ahh then Dahk Rivahs will just put in Tahmmy Brady and Big Papi and the-ahh will be a facking shit ton of new championship bannahs at the Gahhhden! And Lahhhwwy Legend and Billy Belichick will be raising the bannahs while high-fiving and tag teaming Vanessa Bryant. How do you like them apples, cawksuckah? Lakahs ahhh a bunch of ball lickahs. New Yark sacks! Beantown! Go Sawx!

  4. Ti Reply

    May 18, 2010 at 5:29 am

    You are a moron Julia. I bet your frown lines will show up much earlier than ray ray, if he ever would. Watch out for you hips during bingo then.

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