Recently, an article published by Vogue and written by Chante Joseph on October 29, 2025, went viral. The piece, titled Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?, sparked a heated debate on social media. While some women praised the article, others criticized it, posting videos about how great their boyfriends are.

But what is the real message behind this controversial article? The dating landscape has recently changed drastically. Women have carved out their own place in society, and the privileges once associated with having a boyfriend or husband, such as social status or financial stability, are now a thing of the past.

In today’s modern era, women have more choices than our grandmothers, great-grandmothers or great-great-grandmothers ever had. As a result, having a partner has become something entirely optional rather than essential. Women have redefined what “success” and “fulfillment” mean. In the past, these concepts were almost exclusively tied to marriage or motherhood.

Many women now find personal and professional fulfillment in other areas, such as education, career development, art, financial independence or social activism. This diversity of paths reflects a cultural evolution in which a woman’s value and identity no longer depend on traditional roles but rather on her own goals and decisions.

This progress in feminism has shifted the focus away from romantic relationships, which have become secondary. Nowadays, it is common to romanticize our own lives, whether single or in a relationship. So, why is having a boyfriend considered embarrassing? I believe this perception comes from a combination of social and political factors, one being the educational gap between men and women.

Statistically, there was a time in 1995 when women and men had the same likelihood of earning a bachelor’s degree. Compared to now, where the 2024 data shows that 47% of women now hold a bachelor’s degree, compared to 37% of men. This imbalance means that not all women with a college education will find a partner with a similar academic background, altering the traditional patterns of educational parity between genders.

This educational gap is particularly interesting when we consider that we live in a patriarchal system that has historically given advantages to men —  advantages that, paradoxically, many are not taking.

In a 2021 survey, when participants were asked why they decided not to pursue higher education, the answers revealed a clear gender difference. Men were more likely to say they did not continue their studies simply because they did not want to, while women more often cited the lack of financial resources as the main obstacle to affording a college education.

This is not to say that a person’s value depends on their level of education, but in today’s job market, academic credentials play a crucial role. In a context where education has been devalued and a bachelor’s degree no longer guarantees a stable or well-paying job, expectations have increased: pursuing a master’s or other postgraduate studies has become a way to stand out and remain competitive.

As a result, the likelihood of women becoming the main financial providers in their households is higher compared to their partners, since bachelor’s degrees often lead to better-paying jobs.

However, many men still refuse to challenge traditional gender roles, and household and childcare responsibilities continue to fall primarily on women. Regardless of who the main provider is, studies show that women spend twice as much time on household chores, averaging 4.6 hours per week compared to men’s 1.9. To be honest, I believe this figure underestimates reality, and that in practice, the inequality is even greater.

In contrast, husbands spend about three more hours per week working than their wives, yet they still enjoy an additional three hours of leisure time. This demonstrates that even so-called “egalitarian marriages”—relationships that are supposedly based on equality—often end up benefiting men more.

Society continues to grant men the symbolic power of “choosing” the lucky woman they will marry, as if marriage were a privilege they bestow. Meanwhile, women are judged and even humiliated for being in long-term relationships without receiving a ring, as though their worth depends on being chosen.

This romantic narrative hides a silent agreement in which men retain control and end up being the main beneficiaries, while many women ultimately take on the role of unpaid domestic workers for their husbands.

Another reason why having a boyfriend might be seen as embarrassing comes from recent studies showing that in Gen-Z both women and men are less progressive than older generations with men leading the stats. One study found that six out of 10 Gen-Z men believe that society has gotten to the other extreme and now women have the upper hand and they are at a disadvantage. Meanwhile, only around four men out of ten from the Baby Boomer generation agreed with this statement.

Today, as men begin to lose the privileges inherited from the patriarchy, many confuse equality with oppression. What they perceive as a “disadvantage” is nothing more than the natural consequence of a society starting to balance the scales.

This resistance to change reveals how deeply entrenched male privilege is. Instead of seeing it as a loss, men should recognize that this process of equity benefits everyone, because a fairer and more balanced society not only frees women from historical burdens but also liberates men from the stereotypes that prevent them from expressing vulnerability, empathy or care.

The political climate may also be shaping the negative perception of having a boyfriend. In the most recent elections, a greater percentage of men supported 45th and 47th President Donald Trump, reaching 55% compared to 50% in 2020. It doesn’t take much analysis to understand why dating a man who voted for Trump might be concerning or a red flag for many women, especially considering that his administration pushed for the overturning of Roe v. Wade.

Not to mention, Trump is hardly a feminist icon, given his history of comments such as, “A person who’s flat-chested is very hard to be a 10, OK?”, “It doesn’t really matter what [the media] writes as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass,” and “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband, what makes her think she can satisfy America? #MakeAmericaGreatAgain.”

Many women have chosen not to pursue romantic relationships with men, even though this decision is often criticized due to the deeply ingrained belief that marriage and motherhood are the most important milestones in life, more so than graduating from college.

Being single is the default state, and romantic relationships are optional. The rise of the so-called “50/50” relationship, so often discussed on social media, is quite ironic, since it rarely happens in practice. The additional burden of housework, childcare and the lack of empathy some men show toward women’s reproductive health make it clear that privilege within relationships often still favors men.

Of course, this does not apply to women who are with deconstructed men, those who consider themselves feminists and prove it through their actions. Men who understand the intrinsic value of women, recognizing not only their ability to create and give life but also their significance and contributions across all areas, without constantly questioning: “ What do you bring to the table?”

Vogue’s article has marked a turning point by redefining the old narrative and writing one in which being single represents empowerment and self-love, reflecting broader social and political shifts.

For all these reasons, yes, having a boyfriend can indeed be embarrassing, especially when the relationship primarily benefits him. It becomes even worse when he makes decisions that directly or indirectly harm women’s interests and well-being, while having a girlfriend they claim to love. 

Men must deconstruct their concept of masculinity, reflect on their value systems, and unlearn misogyny. They should demand more of themselves and hold each other accountable, in order to evolve and meet the standards of the modern woman, who continues to grow, adapt and thrive in today’s society no longer settling for mediocrity in the name of “love.”

This article was originally published in Spanish, and can be found in the La Vista section of the Daily Nexus. The Spanish translation appeared on p.15 of the Nov 20, 2025 print edition of the Daily Nexus.