Madeline Bryce/Daily Nexus
In the wake of the United States Environmental Protection Agency announcing its decision to withdraw its classification of greenhouse gases as harmful to public health and welfare, the California Public Interest Research Group at UC Santa Barbara has vowed to fight back.
Already voted the “No. 1 Most Avoided Tabling Club” by UCSB students, the California Public Interest Research Group (CALPIRG) has recently announced its new recruitment and fundraising strategies to raise climate awareness and spread its message to a wider range of students.
The Daily Nexus spoke to Quentin Blackwell, a third-year tree hugging major and spokesperson for CALPIRG. “We’ve honestly been playing it safe, but the Environmental Protection Agency’s [EPA] announcement is a declaration of war. Prepare to see the new CALPIRG. We’re talking about more tables all over campus, bigger clipboards and, best of all, e-scooters for our tablers, so people really can’t run away,” Blackwell said.
In addition to CALPIRG’s newfound mobility, thanks to a fleet of e-scooters, they are planning a series of breathing strikes, during which students will stop breathing air to bring attention to the worsening climate crisis and highlight our impending future. CALPIRG polar bear suffering demonstrations have also drawn significant publicity, as several students have been rescued from the ocean after voluntarily stranding themselves on floating containers, simulating the destruction of the Arctic.
Julia Fabiola is a third-year environmental studies major with a minor in hiking who supports CALPIRG’s new approach to tabling.
“The EPA is basically saying we can make anything our reality now, so we’re choosing to say that ‘no’ no longer means ‘no.’ CALPIRG will be working from dusk until dawn to bring attention to the precarious state of the world and get support from the student body. Fear in people’s eyes is now an invitation to approach them. It’s for your own good!” Fabiola said.
Students have started filing police reports, and several Timely Warnings have been sent to UCSB student emails, warning them of CALPIRG staking out Storke Tower and the Arbor. A number of students have also had to change their phone numbers, receiving calls from CALPIRG several times an hour.
Maisy Numeyer, a second-year actuarial science major, has changed her phone number twice since the announcement and had to install metal bars on her apartment windows.
“I mean, I’m super disturbed by the EPA’s decision, but I think that CALPIRG is doing a bit much. Like, plant trees or something — just stop whispering your spiel at me in the library,” Numeyer begged.
Students are divided over the issue, with many carrying plastic to ward off any approaching members. Other students have signed CALPIRG petitions and pledges, saying their resentment toward the current political climate and environmental crisis is greater than their aversion to the organization. The world is a scary place and the last thing you want is to be cornered by CALPIRG. Approach them with caution, and remember, pepper spray is actually environmentally friendly.
Serrano Ham really doesn’t want to pledge $10 to save the trees …
