When summer began, I, like many others, had to accept the fact that my seasonal depression was not just seasonal, and that I am severely depressed. I, of course, cope with this in the same way that any mentally unstable college student would — watching baby fruit sensory videos.
I have so much to admire about the music, the way the pineapple winks at me, the way the blueberries go absolutely ballistic, and don’t get me wrong, although I thoroughly enjoy all 19 minutes and 52 seconds of these fruits going absolutely bonkers, something has always stuck out to me more than the rest. And it’s that goddamn banana.
I spoke with fellow “Hey Bear Sensory – Smoothie Mix! – Fun Dance Video with music and animation!” enthusiast, Frank “Freaky Deaky” Jones, who had strong opinions of the matter. “I just don’t understand why the pineapple is in the middle,” he fervently explained. “Everything about that banana is raw sex appeal.” I couldn’t agree more.
The banana deserves more screen time. The banana is who we all truly strive to be in this lifetime: top half out, judgment-free, shaking it for a real one. I honestly can be stone-cold sober and still enjoy the performance of the banana flapping his little peels while looking straight into my soul with those beady little eyes. There is nothing I think I want more in this world than to spin like him. Bounce like him. Be him.
I had a moment to discuss with psychological & brain sciences major Georgia Myers on where this urge to be the banana comes so strong for many. Myers flipped the script for a moment to ask me, “Are you on crack? Why the fuck are you writing this down, stop it! I’m asking you a serious question here!” This huwt my feewings a bit, not gonna lie. It seems Myers does not actually understand the complexities of fruit sensory videos. To that, I think that she needs to grow up, and change her major if she isn’t willing to get on my level.
I think it’s fair to say that I would give up everything to experience being this banana for just a minute. I imagine it would be pure ecstasy, and I would have no choice but to live beyond that knowing I would never experience that kind of bliss ever again.
Free Willy will one day accept they can never be the person they wish to be.