Welcome to Zoom University. Our campus is one of the most well known in the world due to our lectures being accessible across a variety of electronics. We do not discriminate against left-handed individuals here — it’s a bring-your-own-desk kind of school. Our class size ranges from a few students to as much as the professor wants. We take pride in having anyone crash our lectures.
Here is a link but sometimes, it won’t work if your Wi-Fi is slow or if your professor did not make the link a recurring one. Also, as long as you do have a meeting link, you do not need to make an account to join a meeting. NASA does not sponsor Zoom for that reason. However, we pride ourselves in this accessibility.
Our screen sharing is high quality. Shifting between websites has never been easier unless you are a professor who expects to know about our technology without investing time to learn how to use it. We also love how attendees are able to annotate directly on the shared screen for everyone to see.
If you do not know how to use our resources, don’t worry! Spend an hour or two with friends, exploring our platform. Play with virtual backgrounds. A quick search on our website can answer your queries. You can also reach out to your instructors for help.
Your instructors will arrive a second before class starts, so don’t worry about leaving your place to arrive on time. Our instructors have excellent interpersonal skills. They like to wait a few minutes before officially starting a lecture: greeting students, oversharing or sitting in charming silence. I also certainly respect how our instructors have transitioned their lectures to be Zoom-friendly. No more iClicker questions. No more class readers.
We believe in freedom of expression, allowing our students to demonstrate their individuality through their nicknames and chat room conversations. However, if a neighbor’s lawn mower roars, if your sister decides to blast reggae music or if your dog demonstrates their yearn for your attention through intense barking in the middle of a lecture, we expect you to mute yourself. Effective communication is our priority.
Make sure to turn on your camera, so the Hawthorne effect ensures that you are not goofing off. But make sure to tilt the camera away a little if you want to play chess or take a shower while on your phone. We support well-rounded students who participate in extracurriculars.
We also understand that everyone has different personalities. If you are a little bit shy or you have just woken up from a fat nap, or are in the process of diving back into a fat nap, nobody will be offended if you turn off your camera. But imagine your professor speaking to named black screens. Think of how lonely and awkward they must feel.
We trust that you are capable of taking care of your own wellness. If you are hungry, bring a snack to your back-to-back Zoom meetings or bring your device to the kitchen. Meditate in between classes. Thanks to COVID-19, we have at-home exercise classes like yoga available if you know where to look.
Thank you for choosing Zoom University. We hope that you have a worthwhile Zoom experience.
Celine Pun is an avid attendee of Zoom University.